Ghost Story

[Marian Hawke]

"Love?" asks Emma, then winces. "Sorry, that's Astean. You want Alydra. What would that be?"

[Varric]

"Love is entirely possible," Varric says softly. Coffee is almost done (how long was I silent before Emma prodded me?). "This wasn't just from Alydra after all. But-- new ideas. Being wrong and needing to reevaluate assumptions. New dreams."

[Marian Hawke]

"Are you... closed to any of those?" asks Emma, hesitantly.

[Varric]

"Of course." He snorts. "I'm stubborn and set in my ways, and that's atop the typical resistance mortals have to bring wrong or having to course correct. I try, of course, but I'm not perfect at staying open minded." He takes a slow breath and finally glances at her. "Anything in mind specifically?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Well in a literal sense, you're open to dreams -- you had that whole dream ritual, you had to open yourself to that. But assumptions and ideas... you're very set in your ways. Is there some big thing you might be wrong about? Something you refuse to accept?"

[Varric]

Varric laughs, a hollow, joyless noise. "A few, yes." Alydra. Helene. Life. 

[Marian Hawke]

"Let's hear it. What are your base assumptions? Then we can work through them one by one until we find one that's not axiomatic after all."

[Varric]

"Uh." Varric furrows his brow, then busies himself finally pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Pick a topic or subject or... something?"

[Marian Hawke]

"How about Alydra?" asks Emma. "Since Helene was speaking of her."

[Varric]

That's a (great) terrible place to start, thanks. "Umm. Well. I suppose I have a lot of ideas and assumptions about Nem," the dwarf hedges. "I mean, the deities are vast and unknowable, right? So really, anything we know-- or I should rather say, think we know-- about them is likely to be wrong." 

[Marian Hawke]

"Okay, problem number one," says Emma. "The deities are not entirely unknowable. There are things they want known about them, and they tell us through divination and visions. So we know Alydra stands for knowledge and dreams and so on. What else? You use the nem pronoun for her -- I don't think that's part of the canon."

[Varric]

"Ah, no, it isn't. Or well, it isn't not." He runs a hand through his hair, a rare emotional gesture. "Alydra and Nir tulwath have never decreed a specific gender, and in fact will accept most of them with no more or less pleasure or disdain than my other gender. I use ne, nem, and nir because of Helene. Those were nir pronouns." A soft, fond laugh slips from him. "Well, eventually anyway."

[Marian Hawke]

Emma nods. "So is there some way where thinking of Alydra as being sort of a bigger Helene would hold you back?"

[Varric]

"You mean aside from the blatant blasphemy?" he replies wryly. "Well, for one it's very unfair to Helene. It's so much pressure to put on them."

[Marian Hawke]

Emma nods. "And maybe.. how can you form a real relationship with someone if you see them as someone else? If you see Alydra as Helene, how can you get to know Alydra?"