Ghost Story

[Marian Hawke]

Marian blinks, wiping at her eyes. "Firstly, no I'm not, and secondly, what the fuck?"

[Varric]

"You. Are Important." Varric repeats, each word distinct and unyielding. "Ergo, things that happen to you are, you guessed it, important. You were raped just over a year ago, when you were a child. And yes you were a child, you weren't of age, that's just how it works. Deal with it. You were forced into trying to take on the role of an adult, yes, and you managed parts of it. More than most could even. Doesn't make it real, doesn't make it right."

[Marian Hawke]

"We're not talking about this, neither of us want to talk about this, can't you just leave it alone?"

[Varric]

"No," Varric says quietly. "Because you're important... to me. I care too much about you to just let that kind of poison fester in you."

[Marian Hawke]

"Poison," she says bitterly. "Know what's poison? Having my part in Beth's death thrown in my face every day. Poison is choking back a 'fuck you' every time I see my mother in the name of friendly relations. A load of cum is nothing compared to swallowing that."

[Varric]

Varric swallows repeatedly but it's not enough. Moving rapidly to his workbench, he grabs a jar and quickly pops a few chunks of the contents into his mouth. A few chews allows him to finally respond, "vivid, thank you. And yes, all that is absolutely terrible and toxic. You're right. But--" He spits out what he'd been chewing and pops more in. "But that doesn't make the rest of your life better somehow."

[Marian Hawke]

"It means I can cope. I'm strong enough to handle it without talking about it."

[Varric]

"But not strong enough to talk about it evidently?" he says, spitting again.

[Marian Hawke]

"What, you want the gory details?" she snarls. 

[Varric]

Turning around to face her, face pale and drawn, Varric gives her a hot glare. "Do you trust me?" he demands.

[Marian Hawke]

"Of course," she says, before she can really think about it. "Not sure why, but I do."

[Varric]

"Do you think I want to hurt you?" he asks, voice softer as his will imposes order and control over his emotions once again. 

[Marian Hawke]

"No." She eyes him, wary, waiting.

[Varric]

"Thank you," he says quietly, meeting her eyes. "Then I'll drop the conversation for today with this; I truly and honestly believe that you need to work through all of the bullshit, trauma, abuse and loss you suffered because of this shit town and worse family."

[Marian Hawke]

She takes a deep breath, then another, letting the words sink in. "I'll manage," she says, after a moment. "You can barely stand to hear anything about it. I can manage."