Hazelnuts and plaid

[Varric]

"Marian Bellflower zi'Hawke Tethras," Varric snaps, giving her a gentle shake. "You. Did. Not. Murder. Her."

[Marian Hawke]

She takes a deep breath, the another. "I didn't-- I didn't kill her directly," she agrees. "It's my fault but I didn't do it." 

She dares to glance up, then, catching his eyes for a fraction of a second before she looks down. 

[Varric]

"It'll do for now," Varric says gently, kissing the top of her head. "We'll need to work on how you deal with the guilt, but that's for later." He sighs softly. "I missed you, daughter mine."

[Marian Hawke]

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough."

[Varric]

"I shouldn't have abandoned you. I thought... No. I was wrong. I'm the cause of all of this."

[Marian Hawke]

"You thought better of me than I deserved. I can't fault you for that."

[Varric]

Not just you.  "You might not but I do. You told me you weren't ready for-- that you weren't steady enough to lose me, even temporarily. I should have listened, should have believed you. I should have done better."

[Marian Hawke]

"Everyone thinks I'm a fucking hero but I'm not. I'm just stubborn and lucky."

[Varric]

"Nothing wrong with stubborn or lucky," Varric protests, rubbing her back. "And you are a hero, Marian. Being a hero isn't a quality, it's a... a rank or title, I guess. One you've earned multiple times. Wanna know a secret about heros though?"

[Marian Hawke]

She makes a small whimpering noise, one that tapers up at the end in question.

[Varric]

"They're flawed. Hells, most of them are outright broken inside. Normal people don't become heroes. Becoming a hero, taking that first step? It doesn't just happen. Something causes it. It might be a good thing on the surface-- being inspired by another hero, seeing some wondrous display or whatever-- but there's always more to it. Tragedy, heartbreak, loss, trauma; something has to be the goad, the spark, that pushes them beyond a mere adventurer into hero. Thing is? All those things, loss and tragedy? That doesn't just go away. It leaves scars. It lingers. Heroes are broken people who get back up, who move forward. Not always, mind you. Even heroes need to rest, even heroes stumble and fall down. Sometimes they can't get back up; everyone has a limit, even heroes. Doesn't mean they aren't heroes anymore. And you are still a hero. My hero. You've tripped and that's the truth. And maybe this is your limit. Gods know you've pushed onwards enough times already, you deserve to rest if that's your choice. But we-- I-- still love you. Marian Muleheaded Tethras, not just Champion Hawke or Sage zi'Hawke. I love you, daughter mine."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian throws her arms around him, crying on his shoulder in silent gratitude for a time. Eventually, behind them, the door opens and Isabela slips back into the room. 

"Time's almost up," she says quietly, when Varric lifts his head. Marian flinches, reflexively tightening her grip on him for a moment before she forces herself to let go. 

[Varric]

"Make me a promise?" Varric asks quietly, his own arms tightening around her.

[Marian Hawke]

"If I can," she whispers. 

[Varric]

"It's important," Varric stresses, resting his forehead against hers. "So please, really try. Please." He swallows. "Please give us a chance. Our Clan. Let us take care of you. Don't give any confessions or testimonies without two of Helene, Aveline or myself present. Don't-- Don't be stupid and give up, okay? Please."