The Drow Queen of Glaley [Very NSFW]

[Coquette Blacquin]

Cedric's face crumples, and a few tears slide down his cheeks onto Zev's hand. "I try," he whispers. "I try so hard. But it's so hard to be safe. Used to be I could fight my way out of things but now everything's complicated and I can't get us away and I knew it wasn't safe but I found him and he was so lost and I just wanted him to be safe. I thought he could be a groom in the stables and be out of her reach but he was just so kind and so clever and... he used to keep our schedules so he could tell us where we were going or what we were doing when one of us switched unexpectedly, and, and he used to kiss me and call me his little man, and I loved him and I don't know what I'll do without him." 

[Zevran]

"You did all you could," Zevran whispers, moving in closer to pull Cedric into a loose embrace. "You did more than anyone could ask of a mortal, and you succeeded more than you failed. He was happy, Cedric. He was so very happy with you. Ten years of being loved by you? Of being your lover, of having a family? Bah! A single year of that life would be worth more than a century of surviving alone." He kisses his brow. "You'll grieve. Now and forever, you'll grieve. But you'll also remember him. Not just his loss, but his life. Remember what he gave you, what he taught you, what he meant to you. And you'll honor all of that by living for him."

[Coquette Blacquin]

"Thank you," he whispers passionately. "I was prepared to be all alone forever, never telling another soul I was a  man, that I was even here at all. Thank you for listening, for letting me exist somewhere outside my own head."

[Zevran]

That gets a shiver, and Zevran instinctively pulls Cedric closer. "I had-- I had not even considered that aspect of your existence," he admits. "If you-- gods, if any of you need to speak with someone outside your flesh, to have a companion as you... validate yourself, your differences or... whatever it is you need, please ask it of me." He kisses him again, forehead and cheek. "You gave me back my freedom and-- and you paid dearly for it. More than anyone but Bull, you paid. Please." I'm not fool enough to say it, but I feel as if I owe Bull as well. I took him from you and you from him and the least I can do is to take up some of the duties and burdens he bore for his beloved.

[Coquette Blacquin]

"Thank you," he whispers again, pulling back. "Noire and Cindy front more often than I. I think... I think we will be okay. Now that we're.. now that you know what's going on."

[Zevran]

"I am glad," Zevran says quietly, shifting a little to offer Cedric the space to lay down across his arm, close enough to touch but not cuddling outright. "You are still weary from your fever," he notes, not adding the obvious burden of grief as well. "There is... there is more, but nothing as urgent or bad, I think. Nothing that cannot wait for you to rest more."

[Coquette Blacquin]

"Tell me," he begs. "Just the overview. I want to be able to rest knowing there's no more coming." 

[Zevran]

Zevran winces, but nods. "You might have inferred, but it was only yourself, me and Shisou who are with us. Ah, and Justina. I grabbed your stash from behind the romance pap drivel shelf but I've not gone through it. Ahh..." He hesitates, clearly steeling himself for whatever it is that he feels needs to be said but is scared to. "And... You're in good physical health as best Isabela's healer can tell and she's no novice. One of the reasons the fever was so worrying, as there seemed to be no reason for it and-- Dammit. I am stalling and I know not why really." He tenses, then forces his muscles lax even as he stiffens his metaphorical spine. "The healer also informed me that you're in the early stages of pregnancy. Only she, we and Isabela know so far, I've not told Shisou yet."

[Coquette Blacquin]

"Oh," says Cedric quietly. "Oh," he adds again, barely above a whisper. "Can it... is it... perhaps... it's early days yet, perhaps not too early that it might be shed naturally?" his voice takes on an odd whimpering quality as he speaks, though immediately he shakes his head. "No. No, I've no wish to put Cindy or Noire through that again. Only... only... typically... the last few pregnancies, I have rested, dormant, trusting Bull to protect my alters and the babe. I cannot.... when we are pregnant, I cannot... it..." He swallows, as if trying to hold back nausea. 

[Zevran]

Zevran's eyes had widened as Cedric started to speak, then suddenly he sucks in a breath as something clicks. "Cedric, you said-- I had assumed that-- when you say that you do not feel as if you are as your flesh shows, I had not realized-- It's more than just your self-imagine or preference; you feel completely alien in your own shared body, just as a human who was cursed into the form of a swan might feel."

[Coquette Blacquin]

He nods. "I have heard stories of... it feels like I've been subject to a curse, that I'm trapped in a woman's seeming despite being a man. Like I had a, a cock, and someone took it away from me and left me with this useless hole instead." 

[Zevran]

"Not useless-- sorry, not--" Zevran smiles apologetically. "I know you meant for yourself, not as a general thing, my apologies. And yes, that does sound much the same as those I've met who've been transformed." He pauses there, brow furrowing as he thinks something over.

[Coquette Blacquin]

"Pregnancy is especially horrible," he says quietly. "To feel something growing, moving inside me... Can we find out how long it will be? If it is Shisou's -- and it must be? Mustn't it? -- he has mixed blood..."

[Zevran]

"I'm afraid that's not something I really know much about," Zevran says helplessly. "But the feeling of being alien, of not having a body that fits you?" He offers a smile, one that has some hope in it, hope that he can actually offer some hope. "Did you know there are magical items that use transformative magic instead of illusion for disguise? Ones powerful enough to alter one's race and gender both and yet far from outside the reach of those not-- or no longer-- nobility?"

[Coquette Blacquin]

"And wish this curse on the others?" Cedric counters. "I suppose something removable might be alright."