Dreamed Into Life

[Illianna]

I flinc back quickly head bowed "I'm sorry" I whisper arms wrapped around my belly to defend my child

[Ravna]

Ravna reaches out for a moment, but arrests the motion before it reaches her cheek. "Good. Now return to your chambers. This stress cannot be good for the child."

[Illianna]

I shake my head to clear it reaching up to wipe my eyes. "Will you come to me tonight" I whisper a tiny flame of hope sparking in my belly

[Ravna]

"Of course." 

[Illianna]

I smile before turning and hurrying down the hall. She must pity me but I can manage that for potty is a degree of love, and I do so love her

[Ravna]

When Ravna comes to her, she brings with her a dead rabbit and a knife. "It is time you learned something useful," she says, and nods toward the garden door. "Come. I will show you how to skin and clean this, and we will consume its flesh for our supper."

[Illianna]

I follow quietly. She stops in front of the lilac and i sigh "not there the blood will kill then do it by the oak" I say gently taking her arm and guiding her to the tree. I take tr rabbit and the blade from her. It's a solid blade. Well balanced. "What do I do first?" I ask coyly

[Ravna]

Ravna holds the rabbit, guiding Illiana's hands through the necessary cuts and letting her tug the skin loose. "There. You may keep that, for a pair of gloves or a muff or whatever your fancy is."

[Illianna]

"Thank you." I say softly. "I know you think little of me and my outburst didn't help much but if you would let me I could be of great use to you." I say looking up into her eyes

[Ravna]

"Your people do not teach their princesses useful skills. So I will make you of use to me, and then you will not fear my rejection. So. It begins with the rabbit. I will teach you more skills in the coming weeks."

[Illianna]

"Our skills are very different tis true. And while I may not know my way round a blade I am a skilled diplomat and could aid you in you concurring of Castile."

[Ravna]

"You would not be a good diplomat among my people. Perhaps an ambassador, at best."

[Illianna]

"As bojron what they call me. Ask about the day you returned from battle. They respect me more than you think. It's only you I fall apart before. And my knowledge of castle and her people her weaknesses and the court can bring you great use!" I say standing "I don't need to hold a sword to be of use. I just need the chance to prove myself."

[Ravna]

"You cannot be a diplomat because you do not have martial strength to fall back on, nor courage, nor anything worth composing an ode to. They may tolerate you as they might a pet, but you are not one of us yet. And so I will teach you."

[Illianna]

My blood boils at her words and for once my face flushes in anger. "You only value brut strangth but it was skill not force that saved you. I am not a soilder that is true and I will never be one, but my people tell stories that show a different path. You think in terms of war or conquest, but I look at things in a different light. I look at strategy. And how people work. You think you're so strong but even today my fathers letter shook you. You're just as scared of lost me as I am of losing you. You bicker with me at every turn but you take my advice too. It is you not them who don't respect me. And if I am to be your wife that needs to change. I've been treating you the same as I have my father and that needs to change too. I know you're not him, but you need to stop treating me like a child! Yes I have had to learn a lot in the month since I've been here but you also never give me the chance to show you what I know! I am far more formidable that I was when I arrived. I've seen how broken I was and have started to put myself together. Not for your sake but for my own. But if I'm honest you frighten me. You stomp around and belittle and demand and that's fine with them" I gesture back to the castle "but with me, it's not ok anymore! I am your wife! And you will respect me Ravna, or I will leave you, not for Castell but for my own path. If you will not walk beside me as an equal them I will find someone who will!"