Tobys cabin

[Toby]

"I'm sorry." I say softly "there's ways to put space between us. Yes you're tied to me but we don't have to live together we don't even have to see each other.... I just....can't bare the thought of you hating me....." I say swiping at the tears in my eyes. Pull yourself together man you're not 16

[Jamie D'vart]

"can't you just... not be a monster? Can't you just..." Jamie, on the other hand, is sixteen, and is definitely rubbing tears from his eyes. 

[Toby]

"Don't you think I've tried that? I have I truest have and I just can't stop it calls like an addiction. When I go for long periods without hunting I start to lose it. I start unraveling. So I hunt four times a year, I only hunt other monsters and that's it. I never hunt children I follow the rules Rachel made for me. I can't stop being a monster but I can control it. I'm sorry"

[Jamie D'vart]

"Addicts can get clean..."

[Toby]

"There's no AA for killers Jamie"

[Jamie D'vart]

"Well I don't know, can't you do the steps anyway?!"

[Toby]

"I do the steps Jamie but this is different. This isn't like drink or drugs. This is something that can't be fixed. I can cut back but I can't stop entirely. I can drop down to two hunts a year but anything more and I'm not the same. I can be gentle to you because I take that aggression that violence out in someone something else. And don't dudgest fighting that's worse I tried that to stop killing and almost bear a man to death in a cage fight. I'm sorry Jamie I really wish I could stop for you but I can't I'm sorry"

[Jamie D'vart]

"My mom can do spells," he suggests desperately. "What if she did magic on you?"

[Toby]

"Jamie" I say softly "I've been trying for decades to stop to change to fix me. I've tried it all. Meds therapy magic charms drugs, alcohol animals hell I did 16 combat tours hoping if I just killed enough people I'd get it out of my system forever and all that gave me was some bullets rattling around me, a drinking problem, and ptsd!"

[Jamie D'vart]

"...you should get those last two looked at."

[Toby]

"I'm in AA six years sober, and I see a counselor at the VA"

[Jamie D'vart]

"Okay. Sorry. I just... I don't know."

[Toby]

"It's ok. I've known about what it means to be a wolf for a lot longer than you've been alive. It was overwhelming when I first started learning and I wanted tied to a monster." I tease

[Jamie D'vart]

"...what are you gonna tell my mom? Like do we need a cover story or?"

[Toby]

"We'll I've filed the paperwork for a mate and the dead hunter. So we'll tell her most of the truth. Tova took the hit for this kill tho so we won't have to tell her that. We'll just tell her that we talked and you took the matting bite but we're going slow. I'm not stealing you from her we're just going to date on the dl and see how things go. Please don't tell you mom you saw me kill am."