Stone's Throw

[Charon Tethras]

"Right," he says, dubiously. "Dil can give you the info I guess. It's not that the work's hard, per se."

[Andreas Amell]

Ah, probably tedious drudge work. Unpleasant, but perhaps like the unholy crossbred of accounting lessons and 'a light warm-up' with Uncle Carver. "I see. Well, I will do my best, I assure you," Andreas says firmly. Why is Dil snickering..? I am suddenly far more concerned about this...

[Charon Tethras]

"So walk me through who everyone is again?"

[Andreas Amell]

"Okay, this'll take a bit," Andreas says with a laugh. "Starting at the top, we have Grandpa Varric zi' Tethras. He's incredibly sharp. Like he's smart, for sure, but more than that, he's cunning and clever. He built up his business empire from the ground up, from adventuring money. He always has a plan and he read people so well he doesn't bother with magical mind reading much anymore. He's married to Grandne Helene Who-Was-Dakesh, who knows a little about near everything and near everything about a couple of things. Ne is-- oh, Grandne uses ne, nem and nes for nes pronouns. Anyway, ne is a samsaran so ne is blue with pale white eyes and has echoes of nes past lives, the most recent being Dakesh. Umm. Ne is a Seeker and an oracle, whose curse is youth. Which is a curse, because ne is stuck looking like ne is fifteen to twenty. Err, that'd be ten or so for us."

[Charon Tethras]

Charon nods his head slowly. "Okay, with you so far."

[Andreas Amell]

"Yeah, it's a lot, sorry. Umm. Okay, so like thirty years ago, Varric went to a town called Golden Shores for business. While he was there, he met my mom, her twin Carver and their older sister Marian. He hired my mom and uncle to help around the house-- especially cooking, Grandpa can make eggs and charred anything else-- and took Aunt Marian on as an apprentice. But, umm, then some dumbass summoned a bunch of devils and..." Andreas coughs softly, muttering 'condense' under his breath. "Anyway, Aunt Marian was taken by a devil and thought dead for years but we got her back. She travels a lot-- adventuring-- but she's around. Umm. My Uncle became a paladin of Vangal and can partially shapeshift into a wolf because nature magic. He's super buff and direct in just about every way. Oh, and he has a mabari named Hunter. Big softy but super loyal and protective of his pack. The family. As for mom..."

[Charon Tethras]

Charon stares at him. "Hell," he says, bluntly. "You're all Adventurers, aren't you?"

[Andreas Amell]

"Well, not all of us, but family of adventurers often... there's a proximity factor? Umm. Grandpa, Aunt Marian, cousins Gilly and Tomas, plus Zevran, Isabela and Cedric-- close family friends-- are all definitely adventurers, though Grandpa is retired and my cousins are like apprentice adventurers I guess? Plus, Grandne Helene, Uncle Carver, Aunt Aveline, Aunt Shiori, Aunt Merrill and Elder Cousin Davrok-- that's what we call the second wave of kids my grandparents raised-- are all... passive adventurers? Like, they don't go looking but stuff happens, you know?" Andreas rubs his chin. Wow, listing them all out like this... I have so much family.

[Charon Tethras]

"That's. A lot of family," agrees Charon, voice a bit faint.

[Andreas Amell]

Andreas averts his gaze, coughing lightly. "That's, uh, not everyone?"

[Diligence]

"Have you considered exporting some of them?" Dil asks curiously, only paying half attention. Andreas swings his gaze around to stare at Dil with a half affronted, half confused expression.

[Charon Tethras]

Charon looks a little green. "Okay. Okay. Um."

[Diligence]

"What?" Dil asks blankly, glancing up and noticing Andreas's stare. "Did I spill something?"

[Andreas Amell]

"You can't-- you can't export people," Andreas blurts out.

[Charon Tethras]

"Sure you can." Charon shakes his head vigorously. "You just... ask them to move. With force."