The Black Dirge [Sci-fi]

[Hitoshirenu Shourai]

"Wh... what, you don't think I know...? O-Of course I know... it's..." she then mumbles something incoherent, blushing a bit and looking surprisingly defiant. It's like she's getting cuter by the second.

[accalia]

"I think you might know, but i want to hear it from you to be sure." Zee says calmly. "Please, tell me why you think you upset me today."

[Hitoshirenu Shourai]

She then pouts and looks away, "I-I don't feel like saying it anymore."

[accalia]

Zee sighs audibly "Now, please, don't play that game. We won't get anywhere elsewise."

[Hitoshirenu Shourai]

It's pretty obvious that Kimiko is enjoying this new development. Given her life before, it probably wasn't often she could act like that without being beaten. But even she knows there's a limit to how much others can tolerate such behavior, "F-fine... I'll say it... You got upset because I... kept saying I was useless..." Well, that's part of it anyways.

[accalia]

"No, that's not it. You might say that you are useless, but you are useful, and i'm going to show that to you. No, you upset me for a very different reason than that. Would you like to take another guess?" Zee's voice is still calm and level. there's no hint of disaproval in it, even as she denies Kimiko.

[Hitoshirenu Shourai]

She hugs Yukki a bit, her head leaning slightly sideways, closing her eyes tightly in thought, "Hmm..." she takes a moment to think about it. "Oh! Is it because I didn't tell you I was hurting...?"

[accalia]

"Hmm... that's part of it, the lesser part of it anyway. If you don't tell me when you are in pain, I don't get a feel for how far i'm pushing you, and if i push too hard because you didn't tell me you were in pain then I might push you too hard and actually hurt you quite seriously. that would make me very upset indeed." Zee's tone flattens, she's deadly serious there, then her tone lightens again to that strange neutral tone she's been using these last several minutes. "But the greater reason why i was upset, no, that wasn't it. Try again, please."

[Hitoshirenu Shourai]

"But I'm always in pain..." she frowns, and Zee is once again reminded of all the scars, as well as the new wounds. Kimiko then shakes her head, "I don't know...?"

[accalia]

"Always in pain, yes i suppose you would be. We'll need to fix that. time will help, as will learning some control over your power so you stop healing even the most minor injuies and can hold yourself back to help with the bigger hurts. But even now you should be able to tell the difference between the healing pain and the about to be injured pain. the second one is the one i need to know about, because that's the one i can most directly control." Zee then turns quite srs business indeed.

" Now then, the reason i was upset is this. You said that the only thing that mattered was that 'they' were okay. that phrasing means you accept your own termination as an acceptable price to pay for that. This is what upset me. You are a human being, more so than I am these days, physically at least, yet you acted as if you were a disposable automata, good only to take abuse and damage until you were non functional, and then t be discarded. That is not acceptable. You do no one any favours by throwing your own life away. You have a gift, a rare and wonderful gift that applied properly could help thousands, tens of thousands even, and you are content to spend it helping one or two people? only once? and throwing your life away in the balance? This is not a course of action I can condone, nor one I will allow."

[Hitoshirenu Shourai]

Kimiko listens quietly, hugging Yukki all the while. Zee thinks much differently than her. After Zee finishes talking, Kimiko simply sits in silence, at a loss for words. She understood what Zee said. The words were properly understood. But... she still didn't really believe those words. She understood, theoretically, that her life had worth, and that living would be more beneficial, but at the same time, if her death could save someone, or several someones, she would happily give up her life. Besides, that would mean she wouldn't have to be in pain anymore, and they could all be okay...

[accalia]

"You may not believe my words today, that's fair enough. the thinking of a lifetime is hard to change. For now, it will be enough i think to know that you have been placed under my care, and as such any harm done to you I consider harm done to myself, regardless of the source. I am responsible for your safety, and to some extent your happiness here, I consider it a personal failing if you become injured while under my care. Do you understand that at least?" Zee's tone softens as she says this, there's genuine care in her voice now. Looks like someone got under her skin, got past her usual iron mask of indifference.

[Hitoshirenu Shourai]

She burries her face into Yukki with a hug, and half-nods, "Mmm..." is her response. (Equivalent to mmhmm or uh huh, it's an affirmation.) It feels weird for her to have someone outside of her mother and sister that care like that.

[accalia]

Strangely that gets a laugh from Zee. "How many times will i have to ask you to use your words i wonder?" she manages to ask between fits fo giggling.

[Hitoshirenu Shourai]

Kimiko looks a little shocked at Zee. She never expected a smile, let alone her laughing. Suddenly she's embarrassed and flustered, and hides under her blanket. "M-Meanie..."