The Winter's Queen [Magus AU]

[Tethras Clan]

~...thank you,~ Varric says softly.

"I am hearing a lot of theorization in that sentence," Zevran says pointedly.

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one is willing to take the risk. It is no concern of yours." 

[Carver Amell]

I know my sister talks a lot of garbage about me, but... I really do have a heart. Carver's thoughts are bitter. 

[Tethras Clan]

"I am making it my concern," Zevran snaps. "I have no desire to have to kill yet another undead with a  friend's face." His voice cracks a little, hands trembling.

~Not everything is about your sister, Carver,~ Varric says tiredly. ~You've lost a lot yourself, you're putting yourself in danger and you honestly, willingly expressing the idea that you'd die to prevent more loss of people you don't really like all that much? Deserves recognition."

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene stops walking, turning to stare at him openly. "You... consider me a friend? After-- after what I did?" Their voice is quiet, tentative, and a little awestruck. 

[Carver Amell]

..Thank you. He thinks, after a moment of stunned silence. I... you have no idea how much it means to me to be recognized. To be seen. That doesn't make any sense, I'm sure, but. 

[Tethras Clan]

~I can see the shape of it, if not the details,~ Varric assures him. ~You're not your sister. But there's nothing wrong with that. You have your own good parts, your own virtues and strengths.~

Zevran shrugs, a little uncomfortable. "You gave a warning, one that did not... suffice, true, but you tried. I... My loves would not blame you for it, would not want you to suffer for trying. I cannot either. Do I wish we had understood more clearly?" He scoffs. "Of course I do. But I- that was not our fault. We were not made worse by your efforts, so this," he gestures sharply around them, "is not on you. It's that fucking cult asshole's fault."

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one-- I was given a sacred charge from Alydra," they say quietly. "I failed. This is my fault." 

[Tethras Clan]

"Bullshit. A bit of poetry is not enough- you were just the messenger. You delivered said message, the fact that the contents were less than we needed is either our fault or the sender's," Zevran snaps.

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one was given more. This one had to... My job is to distill the visions and feelings into a form that makes sense. I told Captain Vallen one version, and you another. Should I have told you both? Should I have insisted on meeting the Falcon myself? I picked the version I thought gave the most information, without being misleading, but it's a fine line to walk and I clearly got it wrong." 

[Carver Amell]

Carver walks a little faster. Should I intervene with them? It sounds like they're getting upset.

[Tethras Clan]

~If they start to raise their volume, yes, but otherwise, this needs to be worked out,~ Varric advises. ~Or if they start just repeating things over and over again.~

"Bah again. So you got a jumbled mess of messages and had to mash it into something legible? Sounds like even less your fault. Wanting to do better is fine and well, wanting to help, sure. But casting yourself on the blades of our enemies to make up for some bullshit guilt is just stupid." The merikos drow takes a deep breath, trying to pull himself back. She's fine. She's safe at the church. She's fine. She'll live. Relax. Just because you can't see her, doesn't mean- she's fine.

[Helene Dakesh]

"I am not throwing away my life!" For once, Helene's head lifts, and they glare right at Zevran, meeting his eyes in a way they hitherto haven't. A moment; a deep, more ragged breath, and the eyes lower to the ground once more. "This one... this one respectfully disagrees." 

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran looks around carefully and spots Dog staring back. The canine meets his gaze for a second, then nods before glancing around pointedly. I shall guard. Zevran blinks, then nods back. Fair enough. Weird, but fair enough. That handled, he steps up to Helene, then in front of them. Resting his hands on their shoulders, he mets their gaze.

"If you wish to... make it up to Hawke, to us, then live. Live and help others as she would have. You're not a fighter, that's not your way. Be their council, their wisdom, guide them so they can do better."

[Helene Dakesh]

Again, they break eye contact after a brief period, chewing their bottom lip. "I have to make it right. I have to." they whisper, trembling faintly.