Messages From The Paranet 3: Who Wants To Marry a Faerie Prince?

[Lance Roidmet]

From: Prince Charming 87
Subgroup: Classifieds
Title: Who wants to marry a faerie prince?
Posted:  October 20, 2005

Are you a young, eligible bachelorette with more debt than magic? Are you a modern woman, ready to take a chance on love? Then enter the Faerie Bride Contest!

Eligible bachelorettes will:

• Be of legal age to marry in their home county, and at least 15
• Be healthy, clean, and fertile, with no prior pregnancies. Virginity is a plus.
• Have some sort of magical talent -- any type will do.
• Be willing to renounce any ties to existing magical communities and cleave to The Prince

Applicants will submit a photo, description, and 3 paragraphs describing why you'd be the perfect Faerie Bride for our Prince. If accepted, he will provide transportation, room, and board for the duration of your stay at his island home. You will be whisked away for a whirlwind romance; if you don't click, you'll be returned home the same way, no harm done.

Applicants who remain on the island for one week are guaranteed to take home 1,000USD or the equivalent in their home country. Applicants who remain for a month will take home 10,000USD. And one lucky applicant may take home the grand prize: If you become pregnant, you will be immediately offered an engagement, subject to prenuptial agreement, with the Prince himself!

Our prince is young, handsome, and eager to find love. He doesn't leave the island much anymore, but in his youth, he was known as a bit of a playboy, so he's well versed in the physical arts of love. He likes fine scotch and classic rock, and he can't wait to meet you all!

[A photo is enclosed: a closeup of Lance Roidmet; it's cropped too close to see where it was taken, and there's no geotag data embedded in it, but it shows him in a clean, frilly white shirt, a warm smile on his face, his long hair neatly groomed and tucked behind his pointed ears.]

Reply here for more details or to enter. Good luck!
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[GamesMaster]

From: Paranet Notifier (notification@para.net)
To: LatL-Space@paranet.mod.net
Date: October 20, 2002
Subject: New private message from Rapunzel87

A new private message has arrived in your inbox! It reads:
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Subject: A message has been flagged for moderation

Body: I know the person who sent this, and it's legitimate, so it's not spam, but it's disgusting. There are young people on this forum! Please remove it before they get the idea that it's okay to solicit prostitutes on this forum.
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[GamesMaster]

From: Galatians522
Subgroup: Classifieds
Title: Re: Who wants to marry a faerie prince?
Posted:  October 20, 2002

Perhaps applicants should private message you, instead? To avoid doxxing?

Also, how many applicants are you looking for? I don't want to take a spot that would belong to someone more powerful or attractive

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[Ivy]

From: Paranet Notifier (notification@para.net)
To: PrincessRapunzel87@gmail.com
Date: October 20, 2002
Subject: New private message from Librarian of L-space


A new private message has arrived in your inbox! It reads:
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Subject: A message has been flagged for moderation


Body: As much as it pains me to write this, he isn't breaking any forum rules. All I can do is make a point of keeping an eye on the thread and stepping in the moment anyone crosses a line. I will also be making a tag on the thread itself to warn them.
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[Ivy]

From: Librarian of L-space
Subgroup: Classifieds
Title: Re: Who wants to marry a faerie prince?
Posted:  October 20, 2002

Fair warning- I am watching this thread VERY closely. It's not breaking any rules yet but it's leaning against them hard enough to hear them creak.

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[GamesMaster]

From: EctoCooler5
Subgroup: Classifieds
Title: Re: Who wants to marry a faerie prince?
Posted:  October 20, 2002

Wait, I thought this was a knowledge and information base. When did we start doing personal ads for what looks like either a prank TV show or some guy running a prank. For one, how do  we know any of that info is real?


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[Ivy]

From: BetterThanBetsy
Subgroup: Classifieds
Title: Re: Who wants to marry a faerie prince?
Posted:  October 20, 2002

What is this I don't even... I can't tell if this is serious or not but I don't care- it's better than MTV's latest offering for sure. I will admit he's pretty hot (or rather, whoever is the dude in the picture is hot, the poster is probably a sixty year old creeper with more restraining orders than teeth) but wow, desperate much? 
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From:Librarian of L-space
Subgroup: Classifieds
Title: Re: Who wants to marry a faerie prince?
Posted:  October 20, 2002

As I posted earlier, this sort of thing is... not explicitly forbidden according to site rules. It's skirting the line for prostitution but as the payments aren't for sex but rather attendance, it just dips under the law (similar to how escort services or mail-order brides are legal, if closely monitored).


As for the veracity of the post... it's a random guy(?) on the internet, make of that what you will.

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