Tales of a Child Eternal [NSFW]

[NPCs]

"While that might be the case in theory, Miss Helene, in practice, the Lotheseome Pair are vile and unacceptable to any right minded mortal," the teacher says firmly.

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene frowns, saying again louder, "This one's name is Seeker Helene." They begin to rock in their seat, rubbing the base of one thumb with the other. The teacher is simply misinformed. They mean no harm. Hadn't Tilge said that most people were misinformed? Helene was to assume that people were misinformed and not being rude. They just had to smile and be polite. Their lips twitch upward, in what they hope looks friendly. Be polite and people will be polite to you. That was the rule. 

[NPCs]

"Miss Helene, you are a child. You have not taken vows nor been called to service, regardless of what daydreams you may or may not have had," Miss Lindenbury says firmly. "If you wish to play pretend, very well, but I'll not have it in my classroom." The other children shift around, exchanging glances and the occasional soft giggle at hearing the way too smart nerd getting scolded.

[Helene Dakesh]

Daydreams.

More and more over the years Helene had become aware that they were... different. They were Samsaran, of course. They were blue of skin, had no pupils, aged slower than the other children. They were also highly intelligent, understanding their lessons far easier than the humans around them, which served to other them further. But there was something... else. Something wrong with their mind. They didn't know how to read the faces around them; they had trouble understanding what the people around them were thinking, because nobody acted in ways they expected them to act. Nobody thought quite like Helene, or acted quite like them. Nobody else rocked to soothe themselves, or had trouble with pronouns, or needed formal structure in order to put together sentences. Nobody else needed rules to help them understand how to interact responsibly. Nobody else was called out by the teacher in this way. Nobody else flinched when they were called 'miss'.

Was it one trait, or many? Was there a number of small flaws in Helene's body, or was their mind just one big muddled mess? How badly were they crafted? Had they hallucinated the whole encounter?

They open their mouth to reply, but there are no words. There are no rules for this, no structure. There are feelings, and vague ideas of what needed to be said, what needs to be corrected, but there aren't ways to express those feelings. There aren't any words.

Seeker Helene closes their mouth, closes their eyes. They rocked, back and forth, trying to sooth themself. They were not alright. Nothing was alright. They are broken, damaged, worthless.

A small blue fist slams into a clothed thigh, leaving an unseen, but very real, dark blue bruise. The rocking continues.

[NPCs]

"Miss Helene!" The teacher starts towards the small child, a frown on her face despite the slowly growing concern. "We do not resort to violence, not even against yourself. What is wrong with you?"

[Helene Dakesh]

What is wrong with you What is wrong with you What is wrong with you What is wrong with you

The fist slams into the same spot again, the pain intensifying as the bruised flesh is smacked. The rocking becomes more violent, as they seek to shut out the world around them, shutting down their senses and pulling back into their mind. Their face goes blank as they pull back into the sanctity of their mind, and they do not even attempt to respond. There's no words anyway, only the ones they heard, only the deep-seated knowledge that something is wrong with you.

[NPCs]

When Helene is finally able to notice anything again, they realize they're in their room. There's the light scritch of a quill on paper- someone writing- off to their left. A glance would reveal Grower Lothan writing something using a lap desk as she presumably waits for Helene to... wake.

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene opens their mouth, but-- what to say? What is there to say about all this? What protocol is appropriate to the situation?

They close their mouth, sitting up as they begin to rock again -- more gently, but insistently. 

[NPCs]

The noise is loud enough to get Lothan's attention thankfully. "Child, you're awake," she says with clear relief. "Are you well? Do you want some juice or some raisin bread? It's fresh from the morning," she coaxes.

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene looks in Lothan's direction -- past him, over his shoulder, not at him. They rock without seeming to respond, the words still caught inside them, unable to find their way out. What is wrong with me?

[NPCs]

"Child? Helene? Can you talk to me yet?" Her face grows concerned. "Helene, do you know where you are?"

[Helene Dakesh]

Almost there is no reply, and then -- suddenly -- a short, jerky nod. It doesn't look natural, or right, but it's clear and unmistakable, and does not repeat. 

[NPCs]

"Okay, that's good," the priestess says with minor relief. "Do you know who I am?"

[Helene Dakesh]

Another jerky nod, this one sooner than the previous one. 

[NPCs]

Good, she seems to be able to respond, just... delayed. Perhaps motor function issues? "Helene, can you raise your right hand for me?"