Tales of a Child Eternal [NSFW]

[NPCs]

"Perhaps... we've never made any sort of study of outsider mentality but... perhaps the two of you would both like to be pioneer patients and developers? Of programs for pervasive developmental disorders and outsider mental health?" The Doctor looks rather excited at the idea but... politely so.

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one knows other interesting outsiders," says Helene slowly. "This one does not know any other... pervasive development disorder patients, but..."

[Tethras Clan]

"I wouldn't be surprised that if the Doctor starts putting out feelers, people who have the condition and have been hiding it- or people who've been hidden," Varric adds sourly, "will step forward."

[Helene Dakesh]

Still, Helene looks doubtful. "Sage zi'Smith believes that this one can be cured? Without the... hardships that the previous treatment... engendered?"

[NPCs]

"Cured isn't the right word," the Doctor says firmly. "Innate mental conditions aren't diseases or injuries- there's often nothing to fix, much less cure. But can be done is teaching you healthy coping methods. Helping you learn what triggers bad days- like your non-verbal bouts- and how to avoid them. Ways of lessening their impact when you can't avoid them. Ways to recover faster or less painfully."

[Helene Dakesh]

They shake their head. "This one is defective. This one must strive to be less so."

[NPCs]

"Defective? Why would Alydra choose a defective oracle? Aldyra takes the smart path, the inspired path, not the kind one. Perhaps it requires a mind like yours in order for Her to reach out so often. Or perhaps Her doing so is why your mind is this way," the Doctor proposes. "Or no, not likely the later, given that your condition is one of those that seems to be in place at birth. So yes, I would theorize that without your unusual mindset, you'd be unable to follow your calling. A... terrible burden, perhaps. Unkind even."

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one is burdened enough," they say, and there's real venom in their voice. "This one is defective because this one was too arrogant in this one's prior incarnation. This one needed to learn humility. This one has learned it. This one has had enough of being defective. This one would like--"

They cut themself off, there, lowering their head to gaze at their lap.

[NPCs]

"It's not a punishment," the Doctor says gently. "I've seen this sort of condition before. It's rare, but it does happen, and it occurs in non-samsaran species, so it's not a matter of reincarnation. It... is simply something that happens. I suspect Alydra simply... tried to make the best of your burden."

[Tethras Clan]

"You need a minute, Helene?" Varric asks softly.

[Helene Dakesh]

"Alydra did not cause this, nor did they take advantage. This one sought Alydra, Alydra saved this one."

[NPCs]

"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to say She took advantage of you. Merely that when you sought them out, they realized that your condition- in theory- could allow Them to... work a touch more directly than the norm," the Doctor clarifies. "No offense to Aldyra was intended."

[Helene Dakesh]

"Alydra saved this unworthy one," they repeat, softer. Then they shake their head. "No, this one is worthy. This one is."

[Tethras Clan]

"Then let us- let Smith- help you learn how to take care of yourself. How to be the person Astea and Alydra think is worthy," Varric pleads softly, reaching out to rest a hand not on Helene, but on their armrest.

[Helene Dakesh]

This one is tired of being this one. They don't say this aloud; instead, they rock back and forth, deep in thought. Can zi'Smith improve things? The program in Drasslina can, but it is far away, this one would be away from home for some time. 

"This one will think," they say, sounding small and quiet and sad. "This one will give a decision after all variables have been accounted for."