Under Darkness [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

Varric scowls. "You mean like how easy it would be to let Papa be another way of saying master?" the dwarf says pointedly. "Yes. I'm aware. But you're not the only person with access to her for one. I fucked up once, I won't avert my eyes a second time. You've earned a bit of trust. But if you're not comfortable being her healer, then we can ask Wynne to take over and you can just be her friend, albeit one who actually knows how to help."

[GamesMaster]

"I can't," he moans, and it's a prayer. "I've already begun as her healer. She depends on me, she trusts me, in a way that's altogether unhealthy for-- for a suitor." 

[Tethras Clan]

"...for a normal person, maybe, but this is Merrill. It wouldn't matter who or what you were to her- if she decides to trust you, it's absolute. Any suitor she decided is a suitor would have that degree of... influence on her," Varric says softly. "If you're worried about it, then... get a second opinion on things. If you do... date-like things, have a chaperone along. If you think you crossed a line, double check with someone." He runs a hand through his hair. "I just... I'm not sure if they could take being abandoned again."

[GamesMaster]

He sinks back into his chair, but only so he can bury his face in his hands. "I can't. Varric. If you knew -- this is the last thing you should be encouraging." 

[Tethras Clan]

"If I knew... what?" Varric asks carefully. "What prompted all of this?"

[GamesMaster]

"I abused my privileges," he says quietly. "I can't be trusted, not around women. Not ever. Marian taught me that." 

[Tethras Clan]

"Abused... how?" Varric asks, tone even and measured.

[GamesMaster]

This is how I die, Anders thinks solemnly. Maybe I deserve it. "Sexually." 

[Tethras Clan]

"This is one of those times that details are important, Anders," Varric informs him, fingers tapping light on the stock of his new light crossbow.

[GamesMaster]

"She asked me if-- Gods above. She asked if she could touch my penis. I of course told her no," he adds, hastily. "That would be improper, but she said.." He takes a deep breath, lets it out. "I couldn't say no. And once she was-- I encouraged it." The last is a bare, shameful whisper.

[Tethras Clan]

Varric takes a deep breath. Then another. "How far?" he asks very, very quietly.

[GamesMaster]

"Her hand," he whispers. "Her blessed, cursed fingers. Then it was over, and I excused myself."

[Tethras Clan]

"She... the first month she was here, when she... when she started being... alive again. She asked to see my... mine." He takes a deep breath. "I, uh... yeah. Metal and sharp?" he asks, unable to explain more.

[GamesMaster]

"Yes." There's no sound to it, or almost none, just the barest gasp, but it's clear what he's said as he turns ever so slightly greener. As his hands ball into fists in his lap. 

[Tethras Clan]

"I... I can't... Given I... did the same- mostly- I can't... blame you for it," the dwarf says, swallowing rapidly. "Just because you... liked it, doesn't... Will it happen again? Before she's ready for... what that entails?"