Under Darkness [AU]

[Carver Amell]

Carver does lead on, trying to figure out what to say as he does. What am I even doing? It's not like he's going to care. It's not like he'll have advice. Why am I opening up to this guy who keeps threatening to shoot me?

But... who else does he have? When he comes to rest on a fallen log, gesturing at a nearby stump for Varric, he's forced to face facts: even Aveline is barely a friend, mostly a friendly stranger. Andy's really the only one who...

He buries his face in his hands with a groan. "I'm fucking all this up."

[Tethras Clan]

Varric frowns a little. "Unless you did something as of this morning, I'll have to disagree. Hawke doing fine, the adventuring was a great idea. She's not said a bad word about you that's more than just friendly griping the same as she does for most everyone else. Aveline likes you, Seli sings your praises, the twins think you're great- as much as infants can really have opinions and Andy? I won't give any details but I can tell you flat out he'd disagree, vehemently, that you've fucked anything up." The dwarf shrugs. "So... you're going to have explain your statement because it's kind of wrong."

[Carver Amell]

He groans, rubbing his face. "Andy." 

[Tethras Clan]

"...that's not really an explanation, Carver," Varric says slowly. "What about him?"

[Carver Amell]

"Nevermind," he grumbles. "This is stupid. You won't care about my bullshit."

[Tethras Clan]

"Carver..." Varric shakes his head. "It's been almost half a year since you got here. Have I done a gods be damned thing since that first day that makes you think- Sweet Andraste man, you're worse than your sister- worse than Isabela- about accepting that, yes, you're part of the fucking Clan. Now spit out what's making you look sick already!"

[Carver Amell]

Carver blinks at Varric slowly, realization dawning across his face. "I'm-- I'm part of the Clan?" he asks, his voice squeaking a little as he does. "I-- I mean-- nevermind." He takes a deep breath. "I've got... Andy's... deviant, isn't he?" He winces a little to use the Glalian term, but... "He likes men?"

[Tethras Clan]

Varric stares a moment. "Six months?" he demands.

[Carver Amell]

"He's married to a woman! With children!" Carver takes a deep breath, lets it out. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Carver, he's been giving you long looks and soft sighs for at least four months- and if I noticed it, it's pretty damn obvious," Varric counters. "But yes, he's gay. As I understand it, he and Lovan were a pair and Seli and Lovan were a pair. It was just easier for Seli to marry them both because she's a Joyous."

[Carver Amell]

Carver pales. He takes a deep breath, lets it out. Then bends over, burying his face between his knees. What have I gotten into, he whimpers to himself. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Deep breath," Varric orders, moving to rest a hand on the human's back. "Inhale slowly, hold it, then exhale."

[Carver Amell]

Carver obeys, straightening after a few such breaths. "Sorry. I-- I don't know what to do with this."

[Tethras Clan]

"Well... I think the first question to ask yourself is if this is going to be something that breaks up your friendship," Varric says soberly. "Can you accept that your best friend is not only gay but wishes that you were too?"

[Carver Amell]

"That's not the problem," he snaps. "Everyone has flaws. I know more of his than anyone."