Under Darkness [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

Hawke turns to Aveline, letting out a small whimper as she holds out the ball. "Merrill," she whispers. "Ball. I-- what do I do?" 

[Tethras Clan]

Ball? What is she talking about? "You want to..." the paladin asks hesitantly, then pauses as she notices Merrill holding out a trembling hand. She's not looking at them, not directly, but she's... "Throw it to her," Aveline suggests gently.

[Marian Hawke]

Throw it. Throw the ball. Play catch. Oh. That's-- that makes sense. "Thank you, mistress," she whispers, turning back to gently lob the ball at Merrill. 

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline manages to not flinch until Hawke looks away. Once she has, the paladin raises a hand to her mouth, muffling her sob by biting the side of her thumb.  Merrill misses the catch, reacting two beats too slowly, but Silence quickly retrieves it for the elf. Taking the ball, she pats Silence in thanks, then lobs it back to Hawke.

[Marian Hawke]

Hawke catches the ball this time, her entire being focused on it. Focused on this moment. Merrill. We're playing catch. She-- she wants to play catch.

Gently, she lobs the ball back in Merrill's direction. Is there... hope? 

[Marian Hawke]

As Aveline walks Hawke back to her rooms, she notices the half-elf looks... more focused. She pays attention better, and glances at Aveline a few times as the paladin speaks to her. Her gait is more casual, more natural, less shuffling and timid. So it probably shouldn't be much of a surprise when, about halfway back, she stops and turns to Aveline, a steady, focused look in her eye.

"Give me your sword," she says, in a tone so natural, so Hawke-like, it's actually jarring. 

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline has the blade half-drawn before her brain recalls... well. The last couple of months. "What do you need cut?" she offers carefully  instead of finishing the movement.

[Marian Hawke]

"Just for a moment," she says, and while there's a faint smile on her lips, it doesn't quite reach her eyes. 

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline stares at Hawke for a long moment, then nods curtly. "Alright. You'll never be a bladeswoman, but I think you absorbed enough of my training to not hurt yourself," she says slowly, trying to make both messages clear. As she speaks, she pulls out her blade, then offers it to Hawke hilt first in a strangely formal manner.

[Marian Hawke]

Hawke takes the blade, taking a few steps back so she has room to swing it a few times. It's a good, well-balanced blade. It's been a long time since she held a sword; she's always been a staff person instead. I've always relied on others to provide the means to sacrifice myself. That's fitting, I think. My Clan helps me, even at the end. 

She swings the blade again: to the left, to the right. Then, rapidly, she turns it, sinking the blade into her unarmored stomach. For you, Merrill, my love.

[Tethras Clan]

Strangely, the blow doesn't hurt at all. She can barely feel the steel in her gut. She can, however, hear Aveline's pained cry. And with little effort, turn and see the paladin hunched over, one hand pressing against a spreading bloodstain in the exact same spot Hawke just stabbed herself in. When Hawke pulls out the sword, Aveline lets out another soft cry of pain. When Hawke rushes back over to Aveline, the paladin straights up a bit and slaps the loosely held weapon to the ground before tackling Hawke. Face pale  and drawn from pain despite the flash of healing steel-gold light, Aveline pins Hawke to the ground.

Tears drip down on Hawke's face as Aveline just stares at her, unable to form words. Why? Why would you do that? To yourself, to me, to all of us?

[Marian Hawke]

Hawke looks up at Aveline, not fighting her, just staring at her, face pained. Aveline... why? Why would you-- why do you still protect me? Why do you still act like I'm worth protecting?

"I--" she begins, in a whimper. Honesty."I didn't mean to-- I only meant to--" Openness.  "I have to-- I have to protect Merrill." Trust. "Please, I need your help."

[Tethras Clan]

"You stupid selfish bi-" Aveline manages to restrain herself after that first bit but her eyes are glowing, her pupils alight like embers. "That isn't what she needs!" she finishes instead. "She needs love and kindness and comfort and- and protection. Not more pain. Not more loss and grief and suffering. Damn you Hawke, can't you see what she did this afternoon? She was reaching out to you, trying to show you she still loves you despite everything. We need you."

[Marian Hawke]

Hawke's eyes widen in shock, searching Aveline's face for a sign she's telling the truth. Her eyes flood with tears. "Aveline, I-- I'm not a good person. I'm not the person you remember. I'm--" A pet, a toy, a sheath. "Different."

[Tethras Clan]

"If you changed once, you can change again," Aveline insists fiercely. "Even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming, you'll get better. Even- even this was- well, it was fucking stupid, but you meant well. You thought it was a good idea, it just wasn't." She stares a moment, then nods. "I'm moving in with you," she announces.