Under Darkness [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran is the one that looks away this time. After a moment, he shrugs awkwardly.

[Isabela]

She reaches up, cupping his cheek again. "Zevran... my whole life, the whole time I've been Isabela, only one person has had the strength to let me go. To not want to keep me in a cage. Don't you ever, ever feel bad about that."

[Tethras Clan]

"Is that- is that how you see it?" he asks bitterly. "Because I see it as walking away while you stand there, raped, abused, alone and hurting so badly."

[Isabela]

"If you had stayed, I'd have been taken by slavers." She's blunt, but her tone is gentle. "You explained as much yourself. Don't you remember?"

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran shrugs again. "I should... I could have done more," he insists mulishly. "Should have done... something. Gotten you to the nearest village. Could have evaded, stalled for a while. Taught you to defend yourself. Done something."

[Isabela]

"I got by," she argues, frowning. 

[Tethras Clan]

"You did," Zevran agrees. "I... I don't think you... maybe you did better without me staying," he agrees, the tone more than a little self-disparaging. "But I can't... can't not think that I should have. That it would have been better for you. That if I had just been less focused on myself, less afraid, I could have..."

[Isabela]

She pulls back, eyes widening as she scowls. "What are you even saying? That I didn't turn out fine? That if you'd stayed, what, we'd have ended up together? That you should have made me yours?" 

[Tethras Clan]

"No, you're not- it's not about- gods Isabela, you're wonderful, I just wish life was kinder to you." Zevran says quickly. "But maybe you'd have your ship. Maybe- maybe you'd be happier. Or richer. Or better with a blade or- I don't know," he groans. "Maybe you'd've always been Isabela, but maybe it'd have been faster. Less painful. I don't know, I just- I just wish."

[Isabela]

"You just imagine a life for me that's better than the one I made for myself, so you can beat yourself up for not giving it to me." She sighs, letting go of the anger. "You and Hawke really do belong together," she says, a touch of bitterness creeping in. 

[Tethras Clan]

"I..." Zevran pauses. "...maybe? I mean, it's not... not an always thing," he finishes lamely. "And it's only with the three of you."

[Isabela]

"The three of us?" she echoes, quietly. "From how you're talking, it sounds like..." Like I'm her equal. 

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran shrugs a little. "Is... is it that surprising that I could love you?" he asks softly, finally looking back at her.

[Isabela]

And mean it in the morning? Yes. Isabela glances away. "If anyone could, I suppose it's most likely to be you."

[Tethras Clan]

"You're worth loving, ma'bela," Zevran says sharply. "Just as you are, you are worth love."