Under Darkness [AU]

[Isabela]

She bows her head, taking a breath in and letting it out slowly. This is Zevran. Your midnight savior. If you can tell anyone anything, you can tell it to him. "So kind of you to say so." Coward.

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran smiles faintly. "Thank you," he says softly, flicking his eyes towards her for a second. 

[Isabela]

She doesn't look up at him, doesn't see the eye flick. "Of course, if you need me to stay here..."

[Tethras Clan]

"...I always enjoy your company. But I won't ask you to stay," Zevran says carefully. "Rescuing someone, breaking their chains, does not give you the right to... control them. I won't ever ask that of you. Ever." No more than I could ask Hawke to stop heroing, or Merrill to give up her spirits. Changing such a... fundamental aspect of who they are... what would be the point? It wouldn't be them anymore. Just some... A flash of haunted, empty eyes, of a trembling voice behind a door. Broken shadow. "I love you. That's enough."

[Isabela]

She reaches for a flippant response, comes up empty. She takes a deep breath. "I didn't say want," she whispers. 

[Tethras Clan]

"...saying I need you to be here is the same as asking you," he says in a low voice. "It... it would be better, for me, to have you here. You being here... you've held me together when no-one else could. And beyond that, I just enjoy having you around. I like talking with you, I like watching you move, I like seeing you flirt, I like flirting with you. I like having sex with you, I like fighting alongside you. I want you here. I want to be around you. I want you to want to be with me. But you can't force the tide to stay. You just have to trust it to come back." He wrinkles his nose. "Pretend it's reasonable to not be certain the tides always happen."

[Isabela]

Maybe the tide likes to be asked, sometimes. Maybe the tide can change into a woman, set aside her skins and play house for a little while. She knows better; she does. But it's hard to say no, harder than it has any right to be to pull herself away. "Hawke asked," she says quietly. "I'm perfectly capable of saying no."

[Tethras Clan]

"Maybe it's arrogant, but I'm afraid you'd say yes to me and then resent me for it." Zevran takes a deep breath, then looks right at her. "Do you want me to ask? To ask you to stay? Even if just for a little while," he asks in a whisper.

[Isabela]

She glances at him, out of the corner of her eye. "Would you want me to stay?" she asks, her voice too quiet. "If I said I'd give up wandering, stay with you, would you have me?"

[Tethras Clan]

"If you could be happy, yes," Zevran says softly. "I... I don't want to cage you, ma'bela. I refuse to chain someone, anyone, but especially a free being such as yourself. But if you wanted to stay... I would happily welcome you."

He quirks a half smile. "I'd been half toying with the idea of opening my own brothel. Doing it right, making it a place of pleasure and joy, not... shameful or dirty. Well, dirty can be good. It... well, I wouldn't mind a partner, if you wanted. Or Hawke could always use backup, or Varric a field agent. Hells, I would pay my first year of profit to see you hand Aveline a guard enlistment paper." He's joking with that last, obviously, but he sounds serious enough with the rest.

[Isabela]

"Hawke," she says, and it comes out almost a growl. "It always comes back to Hawke, doesn't it?"

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran blinks repeatedly. "I... what?" he asks, taken entirely off guard.

[Isabela]

"Hawke could use backup -- if she pulls through. If she doesn't become Varric's pet, if she becomes herself again." It's clear right now what she think the chances of that are. "If she ever can put the pieces back together, if she can go backward. If she-- if she--" 

Seemingly out of nowhere, she bursts into ugly, gasping sobs. 

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran moves quickly, smoothly, but he makes sure to be obvious in his intention of hugging her. "...I don't think she can. Go back. No-one can... go backwards. Time only goes one direction out of tavern tales and legends. But that doesn't mean... someone can't get better after they're hurt. They go forward. And parts of what's forward might be similar to what they were before but... it won't be the same."

[Isabela]

She nods, pressing her face against his chest. "She has to remake herself. Become someone new."