Under Darkness [AU]

[Isabela]

"Not in the way you mean," she says quickly, still watching the horizon. "There's one story of his that sticks with me. Did he tell you about a young girl named... I believe it was Naishe?" 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric thinks a moment, then shakes his head "Well, possibly not. He never uses names for... his fellows. No, stop it Varric," he mutters. "He never names the other slaves, unless they were traitors or the like.  He'll name owners and uses, but not... innocents."

[Isabela]

"This wasn't a slave," she begins. "Well, not in chains anyway. Her mother sold her, but into marriage, not bondage. He was the husband's lover, for a time, obviously as a plant."

[Tethras Clan]

"He's mentioned... having that happen to him more than a few times. Pretty sex slaves are... a princely gift to people without ethics." Varric smiles coldly. "I gather Zevran arranged for this Naishe's... divorce?"

[Isabela]

She nods. "Luis -- and yes, he's very dead -- didn't have access to mind magics. But that didn't stop him wanting a biddable wife. She was pretty, he's said, and she was young, maybe twelve or so. A great combination for someone who doesn't care for women and doesn't mind slaves. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, her mother had been the same way: someone who didn't care as much for her daughter's growth as she did her own comfort." 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric studies Isabela closely as she speaks. Clear enough this isn't some stranger she's talking about. Could be her, though her... dissociation is pretty strong for that. Still works but... maybe a sister? Lover? "Grooming," Varric says evenly. "More common than people would like to admit, at least the mild versions. Happens a lot when one partner- and not always the male- has more power than the other and isn't careful about how they use it."

[Isabela]

"Yeah. Well. Luis didn't manage to rape her on their wedding night -- she was developing even then, so she didn't look boyish enough for him -- so the night after, he threw her a grand party. Invited all his best mates. Served them up potions for dinner and his wife for dessert. Fun for the whole family." She can't keep the bitterness from her voice there. "All Zevran could do was clean up after her, get vengeance." 

[Tethras Clan]

"Zevran's a step up guy like that," Varric says, still keeping his voice even, neutral. Very personal. If she was that young, then maybe it was Isabela. New name, new life? Could be. Doesn't really matter, in the end. "What happened after the bleeding? Where did she go?"

[Isabela]

"Dead." She takes a deep breath, lets it out. "Sometimes you can't save people that traumatized. It's... not something I ever wanted for Hawke." 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric scowls. "Hawke isn't-" Deep breath. Deep breath. "Look, I get it. I understand that... that I can't expect her to be who she was. Wounds can heal but ones this deep will leave scars that never fade. I... well, I don't like it but tough shit for me. I can deal with that. But I won't give up on her. I have over a hundred years to help Hawke, double that for Merrill. Don't want to take a tenth of that, even a hundredth, but if it does, it does. I want them to... to at least be people. To be able to walk down a street and not be terrified. To make choices for themselves that lead to happiness and success."

[Isabela]

"I know," she says, sighing. "I knew that even before I yelled at you. It's just a lot to take right now. I figured, by way of apology, I'd tell you some of why it's a lot harder than I let on, is all." 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric shrugs a little. "I didn't take it personally. I knew my idea would be... highly debatable," he finally goes with. "I hate the idea of it, the same way I hate knowing that when she calls me Papa, a part of her mind is saying Master." He glances at her sidelong, then, "by way of apology, I'll tell you that on her really bad days I often have to get a second dinner because after eating with her, I spend ten minutes vomiting."

[Isabela]

She lets out a long, slow breath. That's more than I anticipated his sharing... and oddly comforting. "You know I only stayed in town because of Zevran, right? When I left, I wasn't sure I'd ever be ready to come back to Nyra. Hearing Hawke was in town almost made me leave just to be safe. But... she's not as bad as I make her out to be. Sure, she made it clear a time or two she'd prefer if I stuck around more often, but Isabela's a bit of a wanderer, most people would probably find that charming." You're rambling. "I guess I'm trying to say, I'd have come back, probably. When I was ready. If she does recover, maybe I won't go quite so far next time." 

[Tethras Clan]

"If... if she doesn't... if she doesn't get better soon. Or if she... stalls out again before she's... before she reaches okay, do you think you could convince Zevran to leave with you? For a few months. He... he's not as... stable as he likes to make himself out as, not yet. Even for someone as... frankly gods blessed as he is, you can't just dust off ten years of being a slave in a year." Varric gives her an almost pleading look. "He needs to step away and take care of himself for a bit." His look sharpens for a few seconds. "And you could use a breather yourself, I think."

[Isabela]

She nods. "I asked him to leave with me tonight, and he almost agreed. I plan to stay at least until we're done with this Delve, but as long as I promise to bring him back here, I think he'll come with me."