Under Darkness [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"Shortly after... right. When she was forced to reintegrate all her dissociated memories," Varric mutters. "How... how bad was it?"

[GamesMaster]

"Seizures are never good," he begins, before his face softens. "But, it was brief, she was in the hands of a skilled healer, and as the delve didn't destabilize entirely, I have no reason to believe she won't make a full recovery."

[Tethras Clan]

"Right... good. Thank you." Varric takes a deep breath. "When... when we went inside the greenhouse... it took a bit, to convince her to... to try. To accept the memories. She, uh, well, it's Hawke. She doubts herself. Fucking Amells."

"The only decision I've ever thought poorly of you, ma'bela," Zevran says, tone forcibly light and teasing. "Pouty lips and broad shoulders aside or not, that whole family is toxic."

"Anyway. The memory we went with, to get things started... it was bad. It was well into her being mind-fucked. I caught it use charm on her right near the start. Pretty sure it did something else at one point too. Suggestion maybe. Her focus was on... someone else at the time so it was hard to tell. It... about a month and half after Mori, she spent three days on a 'romantic retreat' with Jadan. The memory was right before it, I think. They were... they were in his office. Being... well, she was being romantic," he finally says, scowling.

[Isabela]

Three days with that monster? That's probably a major turning point. Isabela ignores the jab against her, just squeezing Zevran tightly briefly. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Darian came in before things got... anyway, that was the catfolk that came forward after we started tearing down everything Jadan ever owned. This was evidently why- he was the messenger when one of Jadan's slaves was nearly killed. He- Darian- was panicked and Hawke, of course, noticed. She insisted on going with, needing to help." Varri's eyes close for a bit as he fights back his emotions.

"Still a hero. The slave was a lost cause before they even arrived. It was... it was the top floor of the second dungeon," he adds in an aside to Zevran, who blanches a little. "I'd give Wynne a coin flip at best to have saved him without magic. Hawke did what she could but... Jadan, and a few compulsion spells, managed to convince her it was just a BDSM scene that got out of hand. It had already started... grooming Hawke with that sort of thing so... the groundwork was there. I could.... I could feel her trying to react to what was happening, feel her mind stretching and twisting in order to- to reconcile realty with the magic enforced rule of Jadan being someone she could love."

[Isabela]

"That's what those spells do," says Isabela, her voice quiet, but with a hard edge to it. "They twist and bind the mind, forcing it down a different path."

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline shudders a little, grateful yet again for Vangal's blessings. "Yeah," Varric says just as softly. "I've never been hit with any of that- aside from the memory stuff I've done to myself- but... I've seen it before. Never this bad, granted, but... So that was what I saw there. It... because Marian- the Id- was inside with me, she saw it too. And that seemed to... start things off."

[GamesMaster]

"It activated the Geas," Anders says, with a nod. "That turned out to be a lifesaver, thank you for thinking of it, Varric." 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric stares at Anders for a moment, then he flinches, shame flooding his expression.

"Insidious shit, isn't it?

Marian glances down at her hands, at the ribbon still twined around them. "Yes," she says quietly.

"It activated the Geas."

"They twist and bind the mind, forcing it down a different path."

Without warning, Varric twists to the side and vomits. Aveline lets out a gasp, concerned and startled, and shifts as well so she can support the dwarf as he convulses.

[Isabela]

Isabela clings to Zevran, glaring at Anders until the man rises, moving to get cleaning supplies. She strokes Zevran's hair, doing what she can for the man in her arms, letting Aveline handle the one in hers. Will any of us be alright after this? Will we ever be okay again? Hawke, you better the hell get better after all this.

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran shudders against Isabela, hating himself. "I am too," he says hoarsely. "Gods have mercy, I'm glad too."

"...yeah," Varric manages after he gets control of himself. He leans back against Aveline unconsciously. "I know it... I'll take the stain on my soul with a smile, if it helps her. And it did."

[Isabela]

"She would have died," says Isabela, her voice distant, soft. "If it weren't for Aveline's quick thinking, she'd have been killed. If it weren't for Varric's moral flexibility, she'd have killed herself in that greenhouse. If it weren't for Zevran befriending that ermine, it might have been for nothing, the delve might have just outright failed. If it weren't for Rhys she might have gotten away with lying to you, might have died anyway. Everyone was needed." 

[Tethras Clan]

"And Anders made it possible in the first place while you were our back-up, giving us the faith that if it all went wrong, Hawke and Merrill wouldn't be alone.," Aveline puts in, giving Isabela a firm look. I saw what you did there, don't think I didn't. "That confidence was vital as well."

[Isabela]

She nods. "Sorry, I'm not trying to fish. I just wish I'd gone in there after all. There were moments where I hated that you didn't have another pair of hands."

[Tethras Clan]

"I don't think any of us thought you were fishing, my love," Zevran murmurs. "And I confess it would have been nice to have another person we could trust, even in just the aftermath of the fight."

"It was a bit nerve wracking, not being sure if any of the aspects would turn on us at any point," Aveline admits, rubbing Varric's shoulders soothingly.