Under Darkness [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

She can't even look at me there's no way we'll ever be family again ("If I could just be braver") I broke her in half I destroyed her there's no way she can ever be around me again

"I'm here." She rocks back and forth in the chair, just a little, the repetitive motion soothing enough to let her force out the words. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Give her time. Just give her time. She used to be afraid of Isabela and she's not anymore. Give her time to heal, she'll get there," Varric whispers softly from his perch on the arm of the chair.

"Are you okay? You sounded... off," Merrill asks as she starts picking at her sleeves again.

[Marian Hawke]

"I'm here," Hawke says again. Please please please be okay, please recover, I'll do anything, please just be okay.

[Tethras Clan]

"She's... she's getting tired. We'll see if we can do this again soon but we should call it here," Varric says firmly. "I'll get Hawke settled in for a nap, then I'll come back so we can get started on your... on the Tethras Style pillow.

Merrill scowls, scuffing her foot on the ground lightly. "...fine," she says shortly. "I love you Hawke," she adds, her voice much warmer.

[Marian Hawke]

"I love you too," she pours out, in a flurry of words. "I love you so much, Merrill, I love you, please don't ever forget that."

[Tethras Clan]

Merrill lets out a somewhat choked laugh. "Never not ever. Your love is the warmth of my sun. I love you Hawke. I miss you. I... I promise I'll keep trying, that I'll get better so we can be together again. R-right? We'll be together again?"

Aveline tenses, just a little, in worry that Hawke will... have trouble with that question and the associations it has. In lieu of smothering her with a hug, Aveline channels a steam of healing energy into Hawke, as a tangible show of her love and protection.

[Marian Hawke]

There's no need to worry: she lies automatically, fluidly. "Of course, of course, we'll be together, I love you so much, my flower, my sweet Merrill, my love." 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric closes his eyes for a moment, his heart bleeding a little. We're working on it. We're working on it.

Merrill laughs again, the sound a little closer to a sob. "Sorry! I just- good tears. I'm happy, I promise. Just... my heart is full and heavy and full and..." Needing contact, Merrill shuffles to the side and pounces on Anders, hugging him tightly. "I miss you and love you and I'm so glad you want to be with me and and I love you."

[GamesMaster]

Anders rubs her back gently, trying to be comforting in his silence. 

[Marian Hawke]

"I love you too," she chokes out. "I love you so much, I'm so sorry, I can't-- I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry," she whimpers. Her thoughts begin to stutter, to dissolve into a tangled flood of apologies and memories, much of which were originally contained in That Letter. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Alright Merrill, we're heading out. See you in an hour or so after lunch, okay?" Varric calls out, catching Aveline's eye. The paladin nods, swiftly rising, then scooping Hawke up.

"O-okay," MErrill calls back. "Ummm. Have a good nap Hawke. I love you. I... write soon?"

[Marian Hawke]

"I will, I promise." She rests her head against Aveline, sobbing quietly into her chest.

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline hurries Hawke out of the room, holding her tightly against her body as she rushes out of the loaned cottage. Hawke's new house is a bit far, so she plans on heading to the nearby garden to let Hawe cry it out for a bit.

Merrill clings to Anders tightly, trembling and crying silently. After a moment, she pushes away from him and starts pacing almost frantically to burn off emotion.

[GamesMaster]

"That went well," he says gently, probing her. 

[Tethras Clan]

Merrill sniffs softly, redirecting in mid pace to grab him again. "It did?" she asks timidly, face pressed into the crook of his neck. She sounds desperate for him to reassure her- not because disagrees exactly, but because she's always/i] desperate for reassurance these days. Especially for important things, or things that require emotional judgement.