Under Darkness [AU]

[Carver Amell]

He shrugs a shoulder. "I never knew anything about our father. And Mother only spoke about recent history, about the lost Amell fortune."

[Tethras Clan]

"Even though they weren't really part of your life?" Varric shakes his head. "Sorry, let me do that again. For dwarves, Clan is only about blood about a quarter of the time. Most members of your Clan are married or adopted in. It's more about shared history, a sense of community and pooling skills, abilities, resources and knowledge. It's... strange, how much stock humans, elves and most races put into bloodlines. I'm glad it made you... feel more secure or balanced, it just... I don't get it I guess."

[Carver Amell]

"Family's where I come from," he says quietly. "Nobody else can ever had a bond like a blood bond. Nobody else knows everything you were as a child, will be around for everything you'll be as an adult. Nobody else understands all the shared references and inside jokes and memories you have with your kin. Especially in a small town like Golden Shores, where most everyone's related to everyone else, at least a little. We were outsiders, Amells from Nyra and Hawkes from Alydra-knows-where. No kin but each other, ever. Except Marian. She went off and found someone she liked better and--" 

He cuts himself off. "Anyway, it's like everyone in town was part of one big clan, and we were another. There's a special bond there, one that never fades."

[Tethras Clan]

Varric purses his lips a little. "But you can have new kin. Nothing stopping you from making friends into family. Marrying and having kids if nothing else. Hells, you keep on the path you're on now and I don't see why you and Hawke can't be Clan- family- again. Or the same with any of us for that matter. And... actually it's Goldhawks. From here."

[Carver Amell]

He seems about to retort, but the last admission stuns him into silence. "...Goldhawks? You-- you know my father?" There's a naked yearning on his face, a desperate desire. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Not- I don't know him but I... looked into him, yes. Hawke's part of my Clan, I wanted to make sure there wasn't an issue lurking in the shadows. But, uh, it's actually your grandmother that lives here. From the gossip I've picked up "suggests she and Malcolm aren't... close." Varric winces. "She doesn't seem to approve of his... life choices."

[Carver Amell]

"Like me." His tone is flat. "Of course. Thanks, anyway." 

[Tethras Clan]

"Well, only sort of," Varric explains. "It's more that he never married your mother. She doesn't approve of his... wandering." Well, how he used to wander anyway.

[Carver Amell]

"So she doesn't care that I'm--" only a human. A round-ear. An outsider. Not a mage. 

[Tethras Clan]

"... a bastard?" Varric hazards after a moment. "Maybe a little, but more because of Malcolm than you, if that makes sense. She seems pretty well respected, if a bit... stodgy, I guess? She was evidently pretty old when she had your father. Ah, like fifty or so for a human. Your grandfather died a fair time ago- he was merikos so... lifespans."

[Carver Amell]

"Human." His voice is quiet with shame.

[Tethras Clan]

"So?" Varric asks, then winces. "Oh. Right, I... yeah, Hawke mentioned that your father... right. Ah, no, I don't think she cares. I mean, she married a merikos elf, so clearly she doesn't mind human traits. And she didn't follow her son to Golden Green, the nearly pure elven village he lives in these days."

[Carver Amell]

"Yeah. That-- he stopped coming around not long after Bethany and I were born. Well, I guess, we were maybe seven. But that's nothing to an elf. I guess he sucked it up for a little for his precious elven daughter but then..." He shrugs. "It's fine. His loss." 

[Tethras Clan]

"Actually... he got married," Varric says quietly. "Did... he was forty-two when he, ah, when Hawke was... brought about? About fourteen and some change. I... I don't think it was about being an elf or human or... I think he was just a stupid kid that wasn't ready for having a family and... failed then." He gives Carver a steady look. "Not sure where you or your sisters got their grit or their loyalty..."

[Carver Amell]

"A kid." He stares at him, rakes his hand through his hair. "Fourteen," he sighs, shaking his head. "Elves."