Under Darkness [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

My Hawke,

Thank you for... for replying. I was... I knew it wasn't you but I just... it helps, to be sure. Thank you. It was faster than than I'd hope though. Please- did you hurt yourself? Are you okay? Papa says you're okay, that Aveline and our Zevran took care of you but I like for you to say the words. Well, write them.

I love you, my guiding stars, my first friend, my first love, my hope.
Please be well.
Merrill Tethras

[Marian Hawke]

My darling,

I didn't hurt myself. I may have punched Aveline though.

A lot.

I  haven't been this angry in years. Not at you -- never at you. Just, it's so unfair the things that were done to you. The things I helped bring about. It makes me want to burn the whole world down and start fresh, with just you and me and the Clan. Why do things have  to be this way? Why did you have to be--

I hate that you ever, ever have to feel that way. I hate that hopeless feeling that you're not getting better and that  you'll never get better and that you're irrevocably broken, and the idea that you have to feel that way ever in your whole life just hurts so bad. I want to fix it and I can't. 

Zevran and Aveline say they feel the same way about me. That is also awful but I also can't do anything about it. 

I want you to get better. I want to be with you. Even if we never have sex again. Even if we keep our clothes on all the time so you never have to see either of us naked again. I want to move in with you and, I want to have a baby you can raise even if it's not with you, and I want to get married. I understand if you don't want those things but I do, and I will wait however long you need if that's something you want too.

I'm sorry,
Hawke. 

[Tethras Clan]

Hawke.

Yes! Can we have lunch tomorrow? Together?

I love you, my guiding stars, my first friend, my first love, my hope.
Please be well.
Merrill Tethras

[Marian Hawke]

Hawke paces, checking her hair for the third time in ten minutes. "But do I look good? My hair's getting a bit long, do I look like I slept? Should I try to cast an illusion?"

[Tethras Clan]

"My love, your hair looks wonderful," Zevran assures her, for the third time in ten minutes. "Very couture. And you are wonderful. You look lovely. A bit stressed but fine." He gives her a look. "Try to take a deep breath. Relax. Being wound up won't help."

[Marian Hawke]

She takes a deep breath, wringing her hands. "Okay. Okay. I can do this. I just. It's Merrill. I'm sure it'll be fine." A brief  pause. "What if she runs away from me?"

[Tethras Clan]

"Then... if she's giggling, chase her, if she's not, let Varric go after her," Zevran says gently. "Now. You're ready to go. Aveline is in the kitchen, she should be ready to walk you over. Just relax."

[Marian Hawke]

"Okay." A deep breath. "Okay."

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline coughs from the door. "Actually, I'm right here. Ready to go, amata?"

[Marian Hawke]

"No," she whimpers, but she moves to Aveline anyway. "But waiting is worse."

[Tethras Clan]

"It'll be fine," Aveline whispers as she wraps her arms around Hawke. "It's Merrill. She loves you. You loves so purely, so deeply. Just try and stay calm, okay? Merrill is the one that asked for this. She wants to see you. To make this be the start of you being...  a plural again. Shut up, I'm not as clever as you, okay?"

[Marian Hawke]

"I love you," whispers Hawke. "No matter what happens today, okay?" 

[Tethras Clan]

"Hey, no defeatist talk Hawke," the paladin says firmly. "Yes, I'll love you. And I know you love me. So does Merrill. Alright? Come on, let's go."

[Marian Hawke]

"Alright. Alright." Hawke nods, smiling up at Aveline and trying not to think about how they'd finally let the geas lapse when she'd started adventuring routinely. 

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline kisses Hawke softly, then rolls her eyes as she picks up the basket of food they're bringing as their share of the lunch. Once Zevran lets Hawke go from his own kiss, she starts to say something before the merikos drow ambushes her with a kiss as well. Looking faintly addled, Hawke is left to escort her towards the garden where they'll be eating, at least for the first half.

They're not the first to arrive, evidently, as Anders and Merrill are already present. Along with Silence, of course, who quickly welcomes an eager Beka. Merrill is wearing a light summer weight dress, one that exposed her arms and her calves, though it covers what bosom she possess. It's a very casual look- and one that Hawke had confided to the elf long ago that she particularly approves of on the shaman. When they approach, she's fussing with a table cloth and doesn't see them at first.

"She looks good," Aveline murmurs. "Happy. Excited for this."