Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene nods, relief flashing across their features for a brief moment -- and sadness lingering in their eyes. "Understood. That is good news."

[Varric]

Varric studies his friend for a quiet moment. Damn. That's... could just be someone they knew or know but... those aren't the better odds. "You alright, Helene?" he asks gently.

[Helene Dakesh]

"Of course. This one is-- this one is only--"

They can't bring themselves to lie; their eyes slide away from his face, and they take a moment to compose themself. 

[Varric]

"You need a few minutes or... is there something I can do to help? Something to eat, shot of whisky, talk about something else for a few?" 

[Helene Dakesh]

They take a deep breath, shaking their head. "No. This one is-- this one should confess-- only, if Mister Tethras objects to this one teaching his son, this is understandable and acceptable, but, this one is... more severely defective than--"

[Varric]

"Seeker Helene, please repeat the rule Mister Tethras has in regards to people insulting his friends," Varric cuts in, voice hard.

[Helene Dakesh]

"Mister Tethras does not care for his friends to be insulted," they repeat dutifully. "Only, this is accurate terminology, not an insult. A book that is not bound properly is defective. A magical item that does not cast when triggered is defective."

[Varric]

"Accuracy has nothing to do with it. If a man has a crooked limb, calling him defective might be accurate but it's still cruel," Varric insists. "Unless you knowingly choose to have whatever condition you have for personal gain, a whim or carelessness, then it's not your fault nor your failing."

[Helene Dakesh]

"The only other words this one has are worse," they whisper. Their hands twitch, but they cling tighter to their sketchbook, refusing to do whatever it is they want to do naturally; their eyes are a bit too bright, but no tears fall, and their expression is more one of distant contemplation than pain. It's as though they've receded, pulling back into their head, becoming smaller and less sure of themself. 

[Varric]

"Then we'll find new words. Describe it for me. I'm a writer by hobby, I'm good with words. Let's see what I can do," the dwarf says firmly.

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene tenses, taking half a step back. They lower their eyes to the floor, seeming to struggle for a moment -- seeming unsure or unable to find the words. Finally, with obvious effort, they whisper, "dream-taken." 

The word isn't necessarily more insulting than 'defective' -- but it is much more specific, and what it signifies isn't positive. Those that are dream-taken are usually severely mentally disabled: the name comes from the tendency to hallucinate, though twitching, glazed expression, hand-flapping, and self-harm are all symptoms. It is said there's as many ways to be dream-taken as there are patients, but all the cases he's heard of needed permanent care in a facility designed for them. 'incurably insane' is a more polite term, if more damning. 

[Varric]

Varric takes a deep breath, then nods slowly. "Well, you impressed me again, Helene. If that's what you suffer from, then you've lived- are living- a damn fine life. Well done." A slight pause, then he adds, "thank you for trusting me."

[Helene Dakesh]

Their eyes dart up at him briefly, and they swallow in shock. "You are not..." they whisper, hunching their shoulders once more. "Ashamed?" they force out.

[Varric]

Why would I be ashamed? Even if- maybe for (not noticing) being tricked I guess? As if that would be their fault. But... "Feel a little bad I didn't ask sooner. Feels... Disloyal, I guess, after all the help you've given me that I haven't been helping you with what seems to be your biggest worry."

[Helene Dakesh]

"This is... there is nothing Mister Tethras can do," they whisper, swallowing again. "This is something that this one rarely discloses, this one tries to hide. It is... many do not wish to know this one, let alone be friends, upon finding out. This one has intentionally hidden from, from you."