Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"So you'd rather do it twice?" Aveline asks pointedly.

[Carver Amell]

"No. She will eventually hate me on her own. Until then, I stay."

[Tethras Clan]

"If you act like a sullen ass, then probably so. Deal with your shit, get your head on straight and do better. Maybe then the man she loves will be worthy of her."

[Carver Amell]

"I can't," he says, his voice hollow. "I was never worthy of her. I let you and D-- Varric and Beth convince me I was but I'm not. I never will be. I should never have dated her."

[Tethras Clan]

"You didn't trust your family, instead turning to drink for comfort and solutions. That's... that's a bad path to take. I've seen a lot of guards turn to drink when the job gets too hard. Long hours, danger, constantly seeing the dark sides of mortals... it can wear on a person. It never helps. Not ever. A drink with friends, a glass of wine or the like with dinner... that can be fine for most. But some people just can't. It turns them... wrong. Brings out their worst."

[Carver Amell]

"They say drink doesn't bring up anything that wasn't there sober," he replies dully. "I am a coward and a bully."

[Tethras Clan]

"That's... not entirely accurate. It can exaggerate parts of people. Removes the restraints and wisdom." She thinks a moment, then nods slowly. "I'm a very dangerous person. Very skilled with a blade and powerful. I've killed and maimed. That doesn't make me a bad person, doesn't make me evil because I control it. Aim and guide it. Drink could blurr the discipline, morality and duty that keeps me on a good path. You've got bad in you, yes. Everyone does. You can work to minimize it, put in place restraints on your behavior to prevent those parts of you from coming up, but they'll always be there. Just means you're mortal. So, question is- now you know this about yourself, what are you going to do about it?"

[Carver Amell]

"I am never drinking again," he vows, his voice cracking. "Never going to let anyone forget I am bad."

[Tethras Clan]

"I can approve of the former but... You shouldn't forget about your mistake. It almost cost you something you could never regain. Might still, if Merrill never gets her memories back or relearns how to walk. But shoving it into people's faces everytime they turn around isn't good either."

[Carver Amell]

"I can't let them trust me. I can't."

[Tethras Clan]

"Wrong. Maybe they can't trust you, but you shouldn't be worried about that. Instead, become someone they can trust," Aveline corrects him.

[Carver Amell]

"I can't," he whispers. "I thought I was. But I was wrong."

[Tethras Clan]

"Then keep trying. You learned something new- you can't use drink as a solution to pain. So... next time something hurts you, what will you do? What's your better plan? Figure it out now. Talk it over with people you trust, work out the bugs. Train yourself to do it if you can, practice it if you can. Make it so you will use that coping method instead next time you're in pain," Aveline suggests. That's actually a good idea, one I should work on.

[Carver Amell]

"I have one." At her glare, he reluctantly continues: "Used to hurt myself. It still works."

He rolls up his left sleeve then, showing healing claw marks up and down his arm.

[Tethras Clan]

"You-" Aveline's hand jerks up before she forces it down. "No," she says in a cold, hard voice. "That is not a coping method."