Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

Marian looks away, as if refusing to tell him -- but he can see how pale she is, how her hands are stuffed into her pockets, how she seems to be, not mulish or gathering her courage, but almost sick. 

[Bethany]

"I..." Bethany swallows painfully. "I'm... a lesbian," she confesses, looking stricken. Varric waits for moment, then makes a 'go on' gesture when nothing does.

"I'm a lesbian?" Bethany repeats, not sure what to do with him not knowing the word. "I... like women? For..." She flushes. "Sex?"

[Varric]

"Yes, I know the word and guessed months ago. You're not subtle, none of you," Varric grumbles.

[Bethany]

Bethany stares blankly. "...what?"

[Marian Hawke]

"She thinks she won't be able to get married. To find love. She thinks... she made me promise to take care of her. A-and I will!" she adds, belatedly. "But, but-- and, the things she said, she can't-- she can't go about courting women here, not with words like that floating around. W-worse than witch. So. So she. I just wanted her to feel..." Marian shakes her head. "I can't. I can't do this. Fire me if you want, but I can't-- I can't do this right now." 

[Varric]

"I don't care about-" Varric takes a deep breath. "I don't care that you like women or men or whatever. Doesn't matter. I'm pissed that you used my house to- to do this. I gave you keys so you could get in if you needed to, not to use my living room as a love nest. You're both smart enough to realize doing...that with your sister will cause you more trouble than anything short of summoning a demon during temple service so I don't need to belabour the point about that, I trust."

He takes another deep breath. "Just... I'm going to go to the market and get something for lunch. You two... talk for a bit until I get back," he finishes, ignoring the way that Bethany is staring at him in utter shock.

[Marian Hawke]

Marian closes her eyes, taking deep breaths as her mentor leaves. Will this be the last time I see him? A few tears drip down her cheeks, but she clamps on it as fast as she can. "We need to go," she whispers, once he's had time to depart. "I can't do this, Bethany, I can't. I need... I need time. I have to, to think about it. To make plans. To control some piece of this." 

[Bethany]

"Go where?" Bethany asks softly. "Back... home? To try and have to explain where we've been to Mother or Carver? Try and pretend nothing happened?"

[Marian Hawke]

She shakes her head again. "I can't, Bethany. I--"

A sob chokes off her words, and she turns away, struggling again. Swallow the tears. Stay strong for Bethany. 

[Bethany]

She needs help. She needs space. Somewhere to think. "The guest room," she blurts out. "Go... go sit in there. Think as long as you need. I'll... wait out here. I promise not to go anywhere. And I'll shout if I need you. It'll be fine. Go think."

[Marian Hawke]

She starts to protest but -- what choice does she have? So she nods, slipping into the guest room.

It's only a moment before she throws herself on the bed, sobbing into the pillow. After the first couple minutes of sobbing, however, the shame and fear abates enough for her mind to get to work. First it pieces all the events together, drags out each bit of information she can find hidden in her memories; then she theorizes on why it happened, what led up to it, what might happen because of it. Finally, it sets about the long-delayed work of creating a plan.

Over and over, she keeps coming back to the single, immobile stone: Bethany can't lie well enough to keep this secret. Over and over, her brain offers up the best plan it can... and she balks. She needs to finish school.

But she can't do that if she can't keep this quiet.

She needs to be with her twin.

But she can't do that if she can't keep this quiet. 

Finally, she succumbs to the inevitable. We have to leave. Today. Leave a note for Carver, trust that Varric and Mother will keep him safe. Return the money -- this is my fault, that's not why Varric gave it to me. Keep the map, take my own weapons, and go to Nyra. Get a job, get her in a better school, keep her safe. 

(this is all my fault.)

Wiping her tears, Marian nods, sitting up. Now that the plan's made, she feels better... a little. This is going to hurt. A lot. But it has to be done. She gets to her feet, head held high, and hopes she's not taken too long to destroy their headstart.

[Varric]

She totally has. By the time she comes out, it's to the sound of Bethany and Varric's voices quietly conversing. Creeping over to the kitchen as quietly as she can, the merikos elf sees Bethany at the table, her back to the door. She's sniffling softly, but Varric is holding her hand gently. Looks awkward as hell, but holding her hand. "You doing better after your think, Marian?" he asks after Bethany finishes some whispered comment.

[Bethany]

Her sister jumps a bit, head twisting around to stare at Marian. "Oh, umm... hey," she stammers, blushing as she meets her... lover's eyes.

[Marian Hawke]

Marian glances away, unable to meet either of their eyes. "Yeah," she says, quietly.

[Varric]

"There's some cold roast chicken and fruit salad on the counter," Varric says quietly. "Grab some food and grab a seat. We should talk a bit. Figure things out, make plans."