Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

"She's like Mom, sometimes," he says, his voice really, really soft. "She gets... cruel. Cold. Catty. She gets stung and she shoves the other person away, goes for the weak spot, drives it in deep. She can't stand to be hurt, and she doesn't care how bad she has to hurt me to make it stop. Even when she knows it's an accident."

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline frowns. "Is she talking with someone? Because that sounds... pretty bad. Not- not too bad. I mean, most of that sounds like something she can unlearn, but... she has to try."

[Carver Amell]

"I... I don't bring it up, anymore. She... it hurts her when I do," he says, his face a picture of misery. 

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline frowns. "Why would you do that to her? Allow her to, well, fall I suppose. Better she have some hurt feelings than become a cruel and twisted version of herself." She takes a bit of her eggs, then adds, "though I would admit that it's not your fault. Just... seems out of character. If you prefer, I could talk to her instead." Girl could use some discipline, from all accounts.

[Carver Amell]

"If I tell her she's becoming like Mother, it would be like... Like if Dad was lying to me about my sister being dead. Like if Beth thinks I'm stupid. Like if I told Merrill I didn't want her."

[Tethras Clan]

Beth thinks you're stupid is on the same level as... "That's... an interesting list," Aveline says thoughtfully as she considers options.

[Carver Amell]

"Is it? I mean... it's just... it's just stuff that hurts a lot."

[Tethras Clan]

"Just... noting how varied the things are," Aveline explains. "Can I ask about any of that? Most the parts about you and your sister."

[Carver Amell]

Carver looks away, chewing his lip. "My whole life I... I know I'm not smart. But Beth's the one who keeps saying that doesn't make me stupid. Only, she keeps saying I'm stupid, when she's angry. I know she doesn't mean it really but..."

[Tethras Clan]

"Even smart people can do stupid things," Aveline offers. "I know you have trouble focusing, but you are smarter than the average recruit. It... skews your world view, I think, having the family you do. Varric, Beth, even your tutor, the Seeker- they're all geniuses, perhaps even more than that. So being 'just above average' probably feels... terrible."

[Carver Amell]

"Marian was like that, too," says Carver softly. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Even worse then. Being the only one that's not something in a family," Aveline says soberly. "My parents were wonderful, but they never... they were both Valshathe, just like their families. They never understood why I had to serve. Not the same, but... close enough that I think I can understand a little."

[Carver Amell]

"I wanted to be... different. I wanted to be the one who held the family together instead of leaving or breaking it. I wanted to be the one who was so devoted and loyal the others felt bad and, and decided to work together instead of..." 

He swallows a rising sob, though not fast enough to avoid the beginning of it escaping. "Why didn't she come home?"

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline reaches across the table to rest her hand on his. "I don't know. No-one but her can for sure. But... a week is a long time to wait to find out so... who can you ask? Has she spoken to anyone else about it? Did she know anyone else during that time that you know of?"

[Carver Amell]

"Dad. But she made him promise not to tell me anything." He shudders. "Marian left us. Father left us. Mother abandoned us. When, when I hurt Merrill, she didn't go home either, she left me. And Dad, he tries, but he died. Helene got hurt so bad they couldn't even speak to us, because of a stupid ritual they did. Everyone leaves. No matter what I do, there's holes. I wanted my family to stay together forever and I can't, it's not even been two years since Golden Shores and I can't hold it all together."