Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

Carver doesn't speak. For a long moment he doesn't move either; then, sluggishly, he gets to his feet. Beth is okay. It's okay. I just have to get clean and then I can sleep.

[Bethany]

"Hey," Bethany asks as he stands. "Talk to me, ma'win? Why... what was wrong today that you... needed that?"

[Carver Amell]

He shakes his head, making for the washroom to clean his leg. I just need to sleep. It will be better tomorrow.

The words taste like a lie. Tomorrow will be worse. Will he see Merrill off? Or will she just vanish into the night, never to be seen again? Just like Summer. He dries his leg, ignoring his hand, the stains on his fingers. Stupid. Beth is everything. I wish she hadn't healed me. I deserve to hurt.

[Bethany]

Bethany watches Carver with great concern, seeing him not slip but plummet back into his slavishly devoted mindset. This is my fault. I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have said that, should have been more careful with my words. I broke him. My fault. "Carver..." What do I even say? "Talk to me, please. Tell me what's wrong. I want to fix this."

[Carver Amell]

He shakes his head once more. "Sleep well," he says softly, heading for bed. Tomorrow will be better, he tells himself firmly.

Tomorrow isn't much better. He lays awake in bed, Beth curled around his chest, for a long while before he finally drops off. But he does sleep, and eventually, long after he's meant to wake, he does. It's the smell of tea that gets to him; he stirs, turning to look at his father, his heart pounding as he remembers the night before. I'm in trouble, he thinks dully, and he closes his eyes, swallows. I fucked up.

[Varric]

"Go ahead and wake her up, grab a shower. Family meeting after breakfast," Varric says  quietly. "Try not to... try not too brood too much. Think thing over, get your words in order, but... don't beat yourself up too much." Message given, he sets the two mugs on the nightstand and heads for the door.

[Carver Amell]

Carver does his best, waking his twin and slipping off to the shower.

(He considers cutting again, in the shower. But he doesn't dare. He'd need to ask for healing and Beth would be so hurt. So instead he bottles up his feelings, swallows them down, forces as much of a normal expression onto his face as he can.)

 He peers at the mirror, hating how hang-dog he looks, but he can't smile. I want her to remember me happy, he thinks, but that just makes his expression worse.

Get your words in order, Varric had said. What do I say? What would I say to Summer, if I had that last day over, knowing the next day she'd die? I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't very good for you. I wish you'd been happier. But I can't say any of that to Merrill, not in front of Beth. Maybe Dad will let me say goodbye in private? No, likely not, not if he's sending her away for hurting me. Stupid, really. I'm so stupid, I'm not worth sending her away over. I'm not worth anything.

He shakes his head, taking a deep breath. Time, I guess. He turns, heading for the stairs down to have breakfast.

[Bethany]

Beth hadn't bothered with a shower, making do with magic. Instead she uses the time to slowly sip her tea and collect her thoughts. I messed up bad last night. I still can't... That I said that. I didn't mean him, I didn't. But that's what I said and that's what he heard. So I have to fix this. I have no idea how but... I have to make it up to him. What can I... oh! I can tell him about the whoring. Or rather, the not whoring. That should make him happy. Maybe not focus on why so much, let him- no. No, lying to him about it, even by implication, is wrong. He doesn't deserve that.

Hearing Carver walking about in the hallway, she gets up and slips into a house robe. "Make this right Beth," she mutters. "Let him talk, give him a chance to think, don't press and remember he loves you and means well. He just... he's just so Carver." Taking a deep breath, she leaves the room to head to the kitchen.

[Tethras Clan]

Merrill is where she's been all night- curled up in the kitchen chair wearing just a robe and a blanket. Her eyes are blood-shot, as she barely slept, and she's just staring vacantly at a wall. I ruined everything. I knew it was wrong, but I didn't want Carver to know that I did something that was wrong and hurtful and how broken I am and that just proved how broken I am because I let him do it too and now he's hurt and worse than hurt and Bethany hates me and she should because I hurt her brother and I don't deserve them. I don't deserve to be here, to be happy. I just just... 

She tenses, expecting Varric to snap at her again, as he had constantly throughout the night whenever her thoughts got that dark. "They'll be down in a moment. Finish your tea," he says instead, patting her arm. 

[Varric]

(My) poor kids. They're all so messed up. I really thought Carver was doing better (damnit!) but he... how did I miss this (done in private, ignore what they do there because of sex, healer, no marks)? Alright. Can't change the past (fool's errand), so how do I improve things going forward? Need to get them, all of them, talking more openly. Weekly talks (separate, group, both?)? Professional help? Need to help them come up with safer coping methods (what's Beth doing?).

Watching as the twins slowly take their seats, Varric takes a deep breath. "Things have to change. Things have to improve. I clearly haven't done enough- and not just Carver and Merrill's cutting. How Beth reacted, how Carver reacted to her reaction, how Merrill reacted to all of it... none of that is acceptable. So. Anyone have anything they want to say or explain before I get started?"

[Carver Amell]

Carver just nods at the first few sentences, ignoring the end. He doesn't, can't, look at Merrill or Beth right now, so he glances at Varric, then down at the fresh mug of tea at his place. He doesn't say a word. He just... waits.

[Bethany]

"I- it's... ummm, no, I can wait until... it's... an unrelated thing," Bethany mumbles.

[Varric]

When Merrill stays quiet, Varric nods. "Alright. First off, I'm going to be arranging for all three of you to start seeing a mind healer. Working things out yourselves or as a family isn't working, so we need expert advice. I'll pay for it, I'll find people, though I'll certainly take your feedback and preferences into account.

[Bethany]

Bethany stares, emotions... conflicted on that. On one hand, I did like her, before this. Rather a lot, to be honest. On the other... she might have gotten Carver killed.

[Carver Amell]

Carver doesn't hear most of that. Instead he looks up, a faint glimmer of hope sparking into his otherwise flat eyes. "Three?" he asks, his voice a dry, cracking whisper.