Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Varric]

Varric quietly walks over and rests a hand on Carver's back. "That's good too. Holding it in just poisons the well. Let it vent. We have all day, just... let it vent."

[Carver Amell]

"I can't," he whispers. "I have to be strong for Beth." But neither can he stop crying, it seems. 

[Varric]

"Not right now. Right now, it's just us, son," Varric says gently. "It won't hurt anything to let go now."

[Carver Amell]

"I--" he begins, but he's cut off by sobs. Beth. Merrill. Mother. What-- what do I do?

"I fucked up," he whispers. "I hurt Beth, so bad. I almost lost Merrill. I-- I can't-- I don't know what to do. It hurts."

[Varric]

"...you made a mistake. Could have gone real bad. Did you learn something from it? No, wrong question- what did you learn from this?" Varric asks instead.

[Carver Amell]

"I can't love Merrill anymore," he whimpers, his heart cracking in two as he says it aloud.

[Varric]

"Uh, what now?" Varric asks blankly. "Because- because she lied to- no, because- Carver, you're allowed to love someone that Beth is angry at! Beth went way over the line last night. If Merrill had deliberately set out to get you to hurt yourself, she'd have ground to speak of, but as is? No. Besides, didn't you hear what Beth was saying when we left? She's making good with her right now."

[Carver Amell]

"Beth said-- Beth said-- she said you were going to throw her out," he whispers, shuddering. "And, and, I'd rather she not love me, I'd rather never see her again, I'd rather die, than have someone throw Merrill out ever again. She, she doesn't have a family, she never has, and, she has one now, and I can't take that away from her, not ever ever ever."

[Varric]

"Beth doesn't get to decide that," Varric says bluntly. "I gave my word to look after Merrill, I'm not breaking that. I won't turn out either of you, mind you, of age or not, but you're not wrong about Merrill... needing more support, more guidance. Love her if you want Carver. You both deserve to be happy. 'sides, you're... adorable together. Almost sickenly so, in a sweet way."

[Carver Amell]

"Thank you," he sobs. "Thank you." He turns, then, throwing his arms around Varric, holding him tightly.

[Varric]

"I've got you son," Varric whispers, rubbing his back lowly. "I've got you. Just let go for a bit."

[Carver Amell]

Carver sobs on Varric's shoulder for a while, finally pulling back only as his tears slow. "I ruin everything," he whispers. "I can't figure out how to be. How to hurt and not make Beth hurt worse than I do. How to... how to love Merrill and Beth both. How to keep people safe and not lock them up." 

[Varric]

"You're still young yet, Carver. Not even eighteen. You aren't expected to know all the answers yet. Not even many of them. You are getting better, you know. Probably hard to see from the inside, but you are," Varric promises him. "You trusted Merrill, trusted she knew what she was doing. It wasn't wrong to trust her, just... just wrong that particular time. She's learned from this too. She won't make this mistake again, won't hide something to spare herself shame if it might hurt someone. Hard lesson, but good for you, both of you."

[Carver Amell]

"Beth hurt so bad. Worse than... Than almost anything. She thought I was trying to.... To leave her alone. But I wasn't! But I... I fucked up. And, and Merrill, I hurt her too. I don't even know how. And Beth likes Merrill less the more I love her and I fucked up the other day leaving her alone and I get so jealous and I-- I'' not a good person."

[Varric]

Ah. Well, shit. That explains a bit of why Beth was so damn... messed up last night. "But you weren't. You weren't... well, you weren't making the best choice there- but you realize that now- and you botched it a little on top of that. Shit happens, that's why that method of coping is such a poor idea. As for Merrill... hells. She's worse off than I realized about her... dependency on us. She either masks better than I expected or she her mood is just that fragile. Not sure."