Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

Carver looks at him blankly.

[Varric]

"You don't think about your safety either. Just her. She's your cause."

[Carver Amell]

"I don't ma--"

He cuts himself off, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to think about me," he says quietly. "if I do, Beth will be hurt."

[Varric]

"So?"

[Carver Amell]

He blinks. "What do you mean, so?" This seems to be the last thing he was expecting.

[Varric]

"So she gets hurt. That's life. Don't be cruel if course. Don't abandon her, don't let her face life alone. But we have to let her live. And you have to live too. And don't try that ''I don't matter' shite." Varric fixes the young man with a steely glare. "If you can't see the value in yourself as a fucking person than remember your my son. Beth's twin. Merrill's beloved. All of those things make you unique. Priceless."

 He pauses, then very deliberately goes for a coup de grace. "Marian have everything to save your life too. Don't be so quick to devalue it.-

[Carver Amell]

He shakes his head. "She died to save Beth. That's why I have to protect her. Beth is worth so much more than me. She always has been. And she's so fragile. She acts strong but she hurts so bad deep down. I have to keep her safe. I have to protect her like Marian always did. Merrill too. But I can't..  I can't protect them both. So it has to be Beth. So I have to stop with Merrill."

[Varric]

The dwarf snorts. "You're being a stubborn ass. Marian would have done the same damn thing if it was just you there. Beth is stronger than you give her credit for too. Fragile heart... Yeah, in some ways. But so are you."

[Carver Amell]

"I'm not fragile. I can handle it. It's Beth that can't."

[Varric]

Varric stares at him flatly, letting the human have a moment to reconsider his stance.

[Carver Amell]

"I mean it. I can take it. I, I've been coping real well. I mean. I guess you don't like the cutting but, but I don't need it, it's just, it helps take the edge off is all. I sleep real good. Most nights. Well, except when I stay up to cut. Or when Beth crawls in with me, I stay up longer keeping an eye on her. But, but, now that I'm not doing school it's going well. I just keep my mouth shut so I don't upset Beth, and we out fight like, maybe every other day."

[Varric]

An reddish blond eyebrow slowly raises. "Pretend Merrill said all that. Then tell me you wouldn't be worried."

[Carver Amell]

He winces. "That's different."

A moment passes. Finally, he says, looking up, "do you really think of me like Merrill or Beth?"

[Varric]

"You have some commonalities, yeah," Varric confirms. "Differences too, for sure, but..." He hesitates. "You're all my kids, even Merrill. So yeah, I worry about all three of you."

[Carver Amell]

"I-- Aveline keeps saying it's grief, I'm just grieving, so I don't... should I be worried?"