Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Varric]

"There's no 'just' about grief, Carver," Varric says with knowing eyes. After a second, he laughs, the sound short and a touch harsh. "By either definition."

[Carver Amell]

"But, I mean, she says, she says grieving is natural and it gets better with time, so, so I shouldn't be worried. Beth has real problems."

[Varric]

"It is, if it's allowed to heal, sure. But you got a triple helping of grief, plus a shit tone of other issues dumped on you all at once. Beth's gone through basically the same thing as you, Carver. So if she has real problem, so do you."

[Carver Amell]

He shakes his head. "Beth was bullied. And Beth was a wi-- mage. And Mother tried to send her away. And she's a lesbian. Real problems."

[Varric]

"You were bullied, if only because you kept stepping in front of her. Same for the mage thing. Plus you have that trick with your hands, the claws. Speaking of which, I got a letter from Marethari we should read later today, hopefully she's got something for you on the subject. Leandra... yeah, she went after Beth, not you, but you were the one that tried to mediate that. Worse for you, in some ways. You could have stayed with her, could have tried to placate both sides. But you held to your morals and gave up your mother to stand for your sister. That's not nothing, far from it, son." Varric hesitates, not sure about that next part. No. I might be wrong (sex is weird) and I don't want to stir up more trouble. "Wouldn't say being lesbian is a problem, at least not in Nyra. Most folks won't even care."

[Carver Amell]

He makes a face. "It's not... It wasn't as bad, for me. I could defend myself. I only have nightmares every once in a while, not all the time like Beth does."

[Varric]

"You also spend every night in the arms of someone that cares for you," Varric points out, then frowns. "How often is she having nightmares?"

[Carver Amell]

"Uh. Three or four times a week?"

[Varric]

Varric stares a moment, then looks upwards. "...neither of you thought that's maybe something I should know?"

[Carver Amell]

"No? I don't know, it's been happening so long I just kind of... thought it was normal."

[Varric]

"Tell you what- new rule of sorts. If either of you- if any of you, Merrill, Beth or yourself, has a problem- and by problem I mean anything that hurts you, makes things difficult or could cause trouble down the road that lasts more than a week, hurts half as much as this does or is something you're not sure how to handle, then tell me about it." Varric gives Carver a hard look. "I won't take over your lives, I won't soften every blow, but I will help. Let me. Please."

[Carver Amell]

Carver looks away, staring straight ahead, turned slightly away from him. After a moment, instead of agreeing, he says, "Beth and I fight all the time now. I spend so little time with her, and when I do, we're always fighting. Ever since she started whoring -- gods, she'll hate me, but, she didn't just start whoring. She stopped when you took over. I didn't want her to, and she can't forgive me for that. I still don't want her to, and she still can't forgive me. After everything, after all I do for her, she doesn't want me to protect her anymore. I don't... I feel so useless now, always saying the wrong thing, always pissing her off. I've been thinking about taking a job that goes away from Nyra, adventuring or something, just to get away. Maybe her life would be better off without me in it."

[Varric]

Varric frowns. "Carver, what are you talking about? The two of you argue, sure, but it's hardly all the time. Unless the pair of you have developed both telepathy and the ability to deaden body language reactions, I'd have noticed. Aside from the brothel stuff, what do you fight about? Or last night, that was a one-off."

[Carver Amell]

"I don't trust Anders but she does. Merrill likes him too, even more than Beth does. She doesn't want me stealing so much. She won't let me work guard shifts at the brothel. She doesn't like whenever I tell her no."

[Varric]

Varric cocks his head to the side, expression thoughtful. "Alright, let's go down that list. What about Anders bothers you?"