Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Varric]

"The hells it's your fault!"

[Tethras Clan]

"How do you figure that?"

[Carver Amell]

Carver flinches, looking away, saying nothing. 

[Varric]

"Carver," Varric says softly. "Talk to me, boyo."

[Carver Amell]

"It's just... I knew... Gamlen didn't treat her right. Doesn't. Never has. And she wasn't... well, all that Bethany stuff, all that about convents, it wasn't like her. She was... she wasn't very tender, before, but she wasn't cruel. She could be talked to, sometimes, or paid off. But after Marian died she... she wasn't right. And I knew she wasn't. And I tried, but I couldn't get through to her. So I just... stopped trying. Left her with Gamlen, who didn't... left her alone. I should have asked Dad for help. We should have gotten her looked at. I should have been there, when she started really losing it, to take her away from Gamlen. Maybe she wouldn't have gotten this bad."

[Varric]

"You tried, Carver. Just because you didn't succeed doesn't mean you didn't try. She choose not to get help. Gamlen had my address, he could have come to ask. It shouldn't be on you, or on me, to look after her. Gamlen's her brother. And she was... a bitch, extra strength, when we first got back but she was aware enough to ask for help if she needed it. I suspect that a lot of... this is because of that wannabe lich. Don't blame yourself."

[Carver Amell]

"She's my mother," he says softly. "When I was little, she took care of me. When she's old and can't take care of herself, it's supposed to be my job to do it. She shouldn't have had to rely on Gamlen." He makes a face. "Nobody should have to rely on Gamlen."

[Varric]

"That's... half fair. The bit about Gamlen, I mean. But she's not old, not really. She's what, thirty-five? Less than forty. She should still be able to take care of herself, you're only eighteen for gods' sakes," the dwarf protests.

[Carver Amell]

"But she's... she's sick," he argues. "And she doesn't have anyone else." 

He carefully doesn't look at Malcolm.

[Tethras Clan]

"She is sick. And now that you know, you're getting her help. Tell me true, s- lad, back then, when you were still trying, did you really understand that sort of thing?" Malcolm asks gently. "I've never... never really thought about that sort of thing before. Just... part of the landscape of a person, so to speak."

[Carver Amell]

He hesitates. "My, my tutor... Seeker Helene... talks, sometimes, about, stuff like that. About... mental deficiency."

[Varric]

"But that's recent, isn't it?" Varric points out. "You didn't know about that sort of thing back then. So..."

[Carver Amell]

"It's not like I went back. Not until Malcolm came here."

[Varric]

"Again, Gammy had my address, he could have gotten a hold of us when thing started going sour. You've your own life to worry about. And your sister. And your girlfriend. Your studies. Me dying. Helene's... debilitation." Varric shakes his head. "You have a life and it's a busy one."

[Carver Amell]

Carver takes a deep breath, lets it out. "I fucked up. Maybe I had good reason, but I still fucked up, and I wasn't here, and I have to make it right."