Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Bethany]

"Then- then no more drinking. You're not allowed to be drunk. That'll- you'd never do that, if you weren't- if you were sober, you'd never," Beth bargains desperately. "Please, I need you. I need my brother, I can't- I can't do this alone."

[Carver Amell]

"You can," he whispers. "You're stronger than me. You always have been."

[Bethany]

"Because I have you, your strength in addition to my own," Bethany argues.

[Carver Amell]

"I won't," he snaps. "I won't do this. I can't. Don't make me," he adds, his voice cracking into a whine. "Please, don't make me," he adds, with a violent shudder. 

[Bethany]

"Carver, this... you can't do this. Hiding, running, it doesn't solve anything. It's the same thing you've always done, the same mistake that keeps coming back to hurt you- and us- over and over again," Bethany says gently. "It hurts to face it but we have to."

[Carver Amell]

"I can't," he whispers. "I'm no good."

Then he takes a few steps back, form twisting and enlarging once more.

[Bethany]

Beth's eyes close. "...if you can't be a person, you can't be my brother," she says softly. "You don't get to leave. You don't get to avoid seeing the results of what you did. You owe us, owe Merrill, more than that."

[Carver Amell]

The wolf lays down, giving a soft whine, but staying put. Listening. Obeying.

[Bethany]

Beth looks at him for a long moment, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm not going to give up in this. I'll let it go for now but... you're going to have to face it eventually. Think about it. Think about what you did, why you did it, and what you can do to prevent it from happening again, and, more importantly, to make up for it." A pause. "Do you understand?"

[Carver Amell]

He nods, whining. I'll keep you safe. I promise. I won't let-- I won't let me hurt anyone ever again.

[Tethras Clan]

The following day finds Varric, Helene, Beth, canine Carver and both mabari waiting around Merrill's room. For hours, just waiting for her to wake up. Helene slips out from time to time to get snacks and drinks, but otherwise, no-one leaves the room, instead quietly reading or thinking. Brooding. Praying.

Finally, just before noon, the elf stirs. People go still, gazes snapping to the heretofore unmoving figure, then Beth gasps as the shaman reaches up to rub at her eyes.

[Carver Amell]

Carver lets out a soft whine. He wants to go to her, to scoop her up in his arms, to cradle her close and cry out her name, to beg her to be alright, to come back to him, to forgive him, to love him.

I did this. I did this. The words bounce around his brain, punishing him, staying his hand. I did this. Please, Vangal, she doesn't deserve to suffer for what I did. I did this to her. I broke my vows. Punish me instead.

[Bethany]

Beth quickly moves over to sit on the side of the bed. "Merrill? You awake?" she asks softly.

[Tethras Clan]

"Ummmarrr," the elf mumbles sleepily, swatting at the air, nowhere near Beth or even herself. Beth smiles a little, the familiar struggle with waking Merrill comforting after the last few days. 

[Bethany]

"Come on Merrill... time to get up. Got great news... and chocolate chip apple bread," Beth coaxes.