Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

"Uh. Okay. So he was..." Garrett takes a deep breath. "He was going to tell me about... before. Who I was before all this. I wanted... I wanted you to be here, in case... well.. I don't know how all this works in my head, and maybe..."

[Coquette Blacquin]

"You won't be replaced," she says, her voice softening a bit as she sits next to him. "This is your body now. You're the real one, whoever was in it before."

[Varric]

"Part of the real one," Varric clarifies. "It wasn't supplanting or erasure. It was.. fracturing, I guess. In order to deal with the trauma, your mind created masks to shield itself. Garrett was never born, but he's real, made from ######-" Varric rolls her eyes. "Right, forbiddance enchant must still be in effect for some of it," she mutters. 

[Marian Hawke]

Garrett hesitates. "Was this person... the one you tutored... was he a good person? Tell me about him."

[Varric]

"She, actually," Varric says with a slight smile. "Not the only one under a polymorph- so are my companions. Pretty sure it's tied up with our location. Anyway. Can't say her name, so I'll just call her Mary. It's close."

"Mary was... well, first and foremost, she loved her siblings. Her father was a wandering bard with a weak will and a great deal of growing up he should have done before becoming a father. Her mother was, to be blunt, a selfish bitch. So most of the raising of her two sibs was left to her as soon as she was old enough to do it. She and Carver had their spats- both of them were stubborn, proud and wanted to be the one to solve the problem, whatever the problem was. But if an outside foe showed up, they'd close ranks and die a thousand deaths before allowing harm to come to each other- or especially to Beth, the baby of the family." The goblins smiles faintly, clearly recalling memories past. "That's the core of her- love of family. More, a need for that love."

[Marian Hawke]

She rattles around his head a few times. She. I was a she? Before? "Are-- forgive me, are you sure? That he was a she? That she was so.... maternal?"

[Varric]

"I... wouldn't say maternal," Varric says after a moment. "Parental sure, but maternal isn't quite right. That was Beth, she was the nurturer and the hugger of the three. But yes, as sure as I could be without divination, she was female. Used female pronouns and referred to herself that way at least. And that's just one facet of her. She was also brilliant. Like self-taught herself well enough to at least do respectable at most Nyran university entrance exams brilliant. Great with numbers and languages, incredible memory. Feisty and stubborn too- she was never one to back down from a fight or a threat, unless it was a loved one paying the cost instead."

[Marian Hawke]

"I--" he begins, frowning. "That's definitely somebody else. I'm definitely somebody else." But those names. Beth, and Carver. They sound... important. And Varric too.

[Varric]

"She could be a charmer too. Quick with a quip, at least after she started trusting me. I... to be honest, the impression I get from you is that you're what she would have liked to be, at least a bit. If she didn't have responsibilities or the expectations and could just... let her passion and joy guide her." Varric blinks a few times. "Oh. You're Ciren instead of Astea. Huh."

[Marian Hawke]

"Astea? She was Astean?" he marvels. "I could never be Astean. Too stuffy." 

He hesitates, a bit, frowning as he chews his lower lip. "Was she... vulnerable? Sensitive?"

[Varric]

"Quiet about it, but yeah, deeply Astean. As for vulnerable..." Varric hesitates, not entirely comfortable revealing Marian's secrets to someone. Then again, it's not like they're strangers or anything. "She doubted herself. Her... worth. Their hometown was... very rural. And very anti-magic, aside from clerics. Given that both she and Beth had innate magic... Well. She spent a lot of time worried about discovery and wondering if she was a monster underneath the skin- I sometimes think the only reason either of them were able to push that thought away was that neither of them could accept the other being evil or tainted. Add in Mary being bisexual and being a bastard... yeah, she had some serious self-worth issues."

[Marian Hawke]

He lets out a long, slow breath. "Hoo. Well. I don't know how to tell you this. But... She's dead. There's, it's hard to explain, but there's sometimes something like a ghost or an echo... She's not there anymore."

[Varric]

Varric cocks her head to the side. "Wait... your proof that Mary is gone is that... you still have echos of her from time to time? That sounds like proof she still around, not gone."

[Marian Hawke]

"That's what I mean by hard to explain," he admits. "I almost kind of remember... but if she were in there, she'd have made her presence known. So she can't be in there still."

[Varric]

"Or she's hiding," Varric says softly. "She went though hells, almost literally. How much do you remember about your time... in captivity?"