Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

"Beka," he corrects absently. "I... I don't know if I can stop. I don't know if that will make it worse. Can you... talk to her? About maybe letting me, if it gets real bad?"

[Varric]

"...as I like my teeth, I will talk to her but I'm not going to convince a Vangalite to allow one of her charges to harm himself," Varric says firmly. "Maybe she'll have an alternative."

[Carver Amell]

"Wait she-- she thinks of me like Beth? But I'm a Vangalite also!"

[Varric]

Varric looks amused. "Of course she does. I suspect she has more respect for you than you do for Beth but... yeah, she's very protective of you."

[Carver Amell]

"Protective? She's always cussing at me and making me do sprints."

[Varric]

"Because she's aware she can't always be there with you. So she wants you strong enough to protect yourself when she's not around," Varric suggests. 

[Carver Amell]

"But I can protect myself," he protests, then frowns. "Oh. But I don't. Because i'm protecting Beth. So she thinks I need to be strong enough for both."

[Varric]

"I also think her version of 'able to protect yourself' is a bit higher than most people," Varric admits. "But yeah. She expects that you'll protect others before yourself, so she wants you to be strong enough to save the innocent without getting yourself killed."

[Carver Amell]

Carver nods. "I... I am tempted to go get dressed and see if she's still up. It's not that late."

[Varric]

"Doesn't she normally work nights? She's probably at the station right now," Varric reminds him. "But... hmmm. Tell you what- it's about midshift, why don't you swing by a stall, get something for both of you and talk over a meal?"

[Carver Amell]

Carver nods. "Okay. I-- okay. Thanks, Dad." 

Impulsively, he leans forward, hugging him again, and mumbles, "love you," before he pulls back, heading for the door with Silence.

[Varric]

"Love you too," he calls after Caver softly, a slight delay as he pushes past his reluctance to be that blunt.

Varric returns to his desk after Carver leaves, staring at his book unseeing. After nearly ten minutes, he sighs softly. Yeah, okay. Closing the book again, he rises to his feet and moves his chair, collects the apple cider and glasses. He pours himself a glass, then takes a seat in the chair. 

"So... So. Gods. I'm trying as best I can but it's not enough. I did what I thought was right. I still think it was the best path. And it's never going to not be a scar between us. And it's not the first barrier, the first show of mistrust to a boy so badly hurt he can't forget any failure, no matter the context." He sips his drink, hand reaching out to rest on Helene's arm. "But I think he's learning to forgive and... that's not nothing, is it?" Another sip. "Already miss you."

[Carver Amell]

Carver splurges, buying some of the good kabobs he knows Aveline likes: the vendor that doesn't mix in rat from time to time, and a side of steamed buns with some sort of bean paste inside, something unusual and tasty. It runs him far more than he ought to be spending, but he doesn't care. The food's good enough to lure Aveline away from her desk, and that's the important part. 

(Not that his company, unexpected in the middle of the night, wouldn't have done that, but if there's one thing Hawkes are good at on the whole it's undervaluing themselves).

They eat, making light talk, despite Carver's troubled expression. Finally, as they're winding down the meal, Carver looks around to make sure they're still alone before saying, abruptly, "I need to stay with you for a few days. If that's okay."

[Tethras Clan]

The woman across from stills for a moment. "Are you in trouble?" she asks carefully, not wanting to have to be Captain Vallen if she doesn't have to be, not with Carver. I kept things professional with Andy and missed how things were hurting him personally. I can't allow my pain and fear to impact my duty, not again.

[Carver Amell]

"I... Not how you're thinking," he begins, a little awkwardly. "I just... I have to get away for a bit. Somewhere safe. And I'm, I'm out of safe places to go."