Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

He blushes, just a little, tears coming to his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbles. "I just... it hurts."

[Tethras Clan]

The paladin's eyes soften and she tentatively reaches over to offer a hand. "Failing, even if you couldn't have succeeded, hurts a great deal. It's worse when another pays the price.

[Carver Amell]

"I didn't fail," he says, bitterness in his tone. "That would imply I tried."

[Tethras Clan]

"Carver, you always try," she says dryly. "Sometimes it's more flail than plan or action, but you try. What happened? I assume there's something new since last we talked? Or..?" Did you finally hurt enough to admit you can't keep going like this?

[Carver Amell]

"It's just-- Merrill," he admits. "I've been sitting with her. She's... it's hard. And then Beth and I had a fight and..."

[Tethras Clan]

"Do you want to talk about it?" Aveline prompts him after he trails off. "Any of it?"

[Carver Amell]

"Not... really," he admits. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Alright. If you change your mind, I'll be happy to listen," Aveline says firmly. "When did you want to come over?"

[Carver Amell]

"Is tonight too soon? I can do the morning if that's easier."

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline pauses a moment to think over her schedule. "Would tomorrow night... no, the morning is fine," she decide. I can put off sleep an extra hour to get him settled in.

[Carver Amell]

"Okay. Sorry."

And he does seem to be. When he comes over in the morning, he stows his things and heads back to bed to get some more sleep while she turns in; he promises to be quiet, out of the way, to behave himself. 

And he does.. mostly. 

He doesn't need much more sleep; he gets up, makes himself some eggs (since there's not much else in the house), sets about doing some training. But the house is quiet, after the bustle of having too many people over at Varric's. Almost too quiet.

He considers going out, looking for the Bandannas, but he's not sure how he'll be received. He considers heading back to see how Beth is doing, but it seems counter-productive. He considers going out to the Temple of Vangal but he's ashamed to show his face until he knows Merrill will recover. So instead, he does some conditioning, trying to put the thoughts out of his head, trying to keep busy...

And when all else fails, he heads for the shower. 

When Aveline gets up, she can't find her charge, not at first. It's early for her to wake, but there's two mabari insistent on getting her up, and for a moment she can't remember why. Then it hits her, and she lets them lead her to the bathroom, where the water's long since stopped running, where there's a dirty bandage sitting out on the counter, where she can just see a slumped form behind the curtain, can smell blood making its way to her drain.

[Tethras Clan]

There's no much thought involved in what she does next. Uncaring of privacy or prudishness, she rips the curtain off the rod to get line of sight. Before she even touches him, Carver can feel the semi-familiar sensation of the paladin's healing. Then he feels her grab him by the hair and toss him on the floor. 

"What the fuck?"

[Carver Amell]

He slams into the tile floor, barely aware what's going on. His hands remain claws, the right one bloodied, giving her a clear indication what weapon he was using; his left arm' bleeding slows, stops, at his flesh knots together, the new lines of scar tissue joining many older ones. None older than a week or so, but most unhealed, and many deep enough he should have had them looked at.


He groans, face down on the floor, and doesn't bother defending himself.

[Tethras Clan]

"On your feet cadet!" She roars, falling back on training and habit in her panic.

[Carver Amell]

He stumbles up, silent, waiting. His hands fall by his sides, and he stares straight ahead as his vision clears.