Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"Attention cadet! Explain!"

[Carver Amell]

"It isn't what it looked like. I wasn't trying to... I just wanted relief, a little. I cut myself and I, i lost more blood than I anticipated."

[Tethras Clan]

"it is entirely what it looks like," Aveline snarls back at him. "A betrayal and an act of cowardice. How dare you do this? After you said you'd stop. You have no right to hurt yourself this way!"

[Carver Amell]

Now he hangs his head. "I... I can't stop," he whispers. "I meant to. I can't."

[Tethras Clan]

"Then I will stop you," she growls. "Beka, watch," she orders with a gesture towards Carver. Silence stirs a little but doesn't protest. He needs something and she doesn't know what. Hopefully her litter mate's person does. "You, dress. You're coming to work with me"

[Carver Amell]

"Yes, ma'am."

[Tethras Clan]

Once he's dressed and emerges from the baths, Beka leads him to the kitchen where a now also dresses Aveline is making scrambled eggs with, as far as he can tell, only the heat of her glare. "Sit. Explain," she orders without looking at him.

[Carver Amell]

Carver sits, but the explanation eludes him. "What...what part?"

[Tethras Clan]

The fork she's using to stir screeches across the pan. "Which... Part?" she asks softly. "...start with why you did that. Be specific."

[Carver Amell]

"I.. I kept thinking about Merrill. And how I'm abandoning her to come gad about here. How I should have stayed. How I, and then, my arm kept... Itching. And tingling. I kept scratching at it and my claws wanted to come out and, and I kept thinking what a coward I am, how I deserve to-- to suffer, and, and I just, I thought maybe a little, if I'm careful, and then I kind of, I lost track, and I was dizzy so I sat down, and, and..."

[Tethras Clan]

"You're a fool," Aveline says quietly. "You don't... You're no good to her like you are. Which means your first duty is to get better. Which means facing your problems instead of making yourself feel better."

[Carver Amell]

He sinks his head down onto his arms, but he nods. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Stop feeling guilty, that doesn't help." Aveline pauses. "Alright, some guilt, yes. But wallowing in it just is just you indulging yourself. Guilt is just like pain and fear. It's a sign that something is wrong. Don't focus on the guilt, figure out what's wrong and fix it."

[Carver Amell]

"Me," he says to his arms. "I'm wrong."

[Tethras Clan]

"I suspect that's incomplete but we can start there. Other than abandoning your duty, what are you doing- or not doing- that's causing problems?"