Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"Eat it, not poke it."

[Carver Amell]

He makes himself shove a piece of meat into his mouth, chewing, swallowing. He can barely taste it, but at least he's obeying.

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline watches him carefully, then grunts. "Good." The rest of the meal goes much the same. Once they finish, she curtly orders him to clean up, then vanishes for a few minutes. Returning, she tosses some padding on the table. "Get geared up. Now."

[Carver Amell]

Carver winces, but pulls on his gear without verbal complaint.

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline takes him out back and looks at him. "If you want to feel pain, then we'll spar." She grabs a wooden longsword and tosses it at Carver. "If you feel sad, if you feel hurt or angry, channel it. Use it. Make it push you harder, to be better. Not just stronger, that's a mistake. Better." She takes up a ready stance with a blade of her own and nods at him. "If you're sad or upset because you misspoke and started a fight, then use that to force yourself to learn how to think your words out. If you're hurt because you doubted a loved one's faith, then burn that pain as fuel to kindle a great devotion." 

[Carver Amell]

Carver shakes his head, lowering his sword. "It's not about the pain. It's the... the... I can't feel anything. Numb, empty. If I punish myself I'll feel better."

[Tethras Clan]

"So this is about guilt. About you thinking that some simple cuts, a flash of pain, will somehow make things better?" Aveline asks coldly. "That's poorly done, Carver. You're better than that, to take such a cheap way out. If you want to feel better, feel again, then face your problems head on. Batter them down with stubborn will, cut them down with reason, smite them with faith and devotion."

[Carver Amell]

"I will. I did! Today! But it... it hurts worse, now, that I've done it." He flinches, turning slightly away. "It was worse than I imagined. But she... she'll be alright. And Beth is safe. And the mabari are safe. And I'm... not." He shudders. "I don't know how to be not okay. To be not strong."

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline frowns slightly, brow furrowed. "I... I'm not that good with letting myself be... vulnerable either," she admits. "It's hard, after having to be strong for duty, to allow myself to... relax for myself."

[Carver Amell]

"Will sparring help?" he asks, shifting his weight. "I know cutting does. I don't know anything else that works as well without hurting other people."

[Tethras Clan]

"...without hurting other people?" Aveline prods. "What does that?"

[Carver Amell]

He flinches. "Sometimes I feel better if I talk about stuff but... but then Bethany gets hurt and..."

[Tethras Clan]

"Ah. Well. You could talk to me," Aveline points out. "I'm rather tough. Or..." She clears her throat. "I suppose I'm not around as often so..." She studies her training blade in an intensely absent way. "I... in theory, mabari could be very good listeners. Comforting, loyal, supportive, non-judgemental and always, always patient."

[Carver Amell]

"...true," he says slowly. "But... I don't know. I don't want Hunter to feel bad either. He understands more than he lets on."

[Tethras Clan]

"Mabari are very smart," Aveline agrees completely. "But they aren't... mortals, not like us. Hunter knows when you're hurting, even if you don't tell him. That's just how they are. Might as well let him help. Share comfort, share strength. He's likely got problem of his own, so maybe you can return the favor."

From the door, there's a soft whine. A glance over would reveal two pairs of soft eyes watching the pair from the window, and a paw partially shoved under the backdoor.