Blood from Stone [AU]

[Varric]

"Clearly not," Varric says evenly, slowly rotating the cluster of ball bearings in his hand. 

[Marian Hawke]

"I fucked up," she replies, her tone soft as a kitten's fur. "This was on me."

[Varric]

Varric studies her for a long moment. "Go on. How was it your fault?"

[Marian Hawke]

"You gave us exactly what we needed," she whispers, shuddering. "Right up until I fell on the pouch. Then we lost the potions that would have fixed Beth's leg."

[Varric]

"So I should have been smart enough to get crystal vials, not glass," he murmurs. "Should have done more to ensure Beth knew some basic healing spells. Worked with Carver more, helped him get stronger so he could have carried her easier. " A pause. "Adopted you three outright and sent you to Nyra. Had you move in with me so you'd have access to all my supplies. Some score of potions sitting in my study, useless, while you suffer for the want of one." He'd throw the case across the room when he'd gone back. Thousands of good in magical goods, and not a copper of it worth anything because I misallocated them. Useless. He takes a deep breath, shaking his head. "No, this is- this is pointless. The blame is on the damn fool girls that summoned that first demon. And their parents, for not teaching them better, for making it seem an alluring game, a delicious rebellion."

[Marian Hawke]

"Beth could barely cast reliably, and I couldn't cast divine spells at all. We'd never have gone with you. You did your damndest to get me out and I refused, every time. It was my fault, Varric. I was their... I was their sister, I did my damndest to keep them safe, but I failed and I paid the price to ensure they'd stay safe anyway. To my dying breath, I thought. Anything for them. But then I didn't die, and I didn't die, and I... I didn't want to come back. Not after a failure like that. Who would?"

[Varric]

"But you did," he says softly. "You saved them and you came back. You gave up more in that one moment than most people sacrifice in their entire lives. Gods, Liz, that doesn't make you a failure, it makes you a hero."

[Marian Hawke]

"I don't want to be a hero," she spits, bitter venom lacing her tone. "I don't want to be anyone's anything anymore. I just want to rest. To be taken care of for once."

[Varric]

"Then why do you got out in a mask at night?" he asks curiously. And that just makes you all the more a hero.

[Marian Hawke]

"I just want to be with Cindy," she whispers, tears clouding her vision.

[Varric]

"Remember to move if you need to," Varric suggests in a murmur. "That's a fair reason. Family is the only reason why I'd make a choice half as risky as that."

[Marian Hawke]

"I want her to be pleased with me. She deserves someone better, someone not broken, but what she has is me and I want her to be happy." She rocks a bit, still not looking at him, still whispering.

[Varric]

"Hey, you're plenty good. You're brilliant and clever," the Alydrean married to a Seeker begins firmly. "You're loyal, determined, kind, generous, dedicated and stubborn."

[Marian Hawke]

She doesn't bother denying it; she knows he won't take no on this. Instead, she rocks back and forth, waiting for him to run out of adjectives. 

[Varric]

"And humble with a side of shy," Varric finishes with a soft smile. "You alright over there?"