Blood from Stone [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

"I can't. It doesn't work that way," she whispers.

[Varric]

"The wording is a bit awkward, but the principle is sound. It's how most people live. It's how you used to live."

[Marian Hawke]

"I wasn't broken then," she says, swallowing hard. 

[Varric]

"i know. So we figure out what we can fix, what we can change and what we have to work around."

[Marian Hawke]

"I, I fixed... I can go outside, now. And. I got the tattoos removed and the finger regrown. So. I can, I can take off the hat if I need to. So that's fixed. And I can... I'm here, so I can change where I live and who im around. But I can't, i can't fix this."

[Varric]

"And those are good things. Those are things I'm proud of you for doing. But it's time to take the next steps. To go outside alone. Sure, maybe start with just a mabari. But eventually, you should be able to step out to the local bakery by yourself to grab some rolls or whatever."

[Marian Hawke]

"I... I do, once in a while," she admits. "But only on Cindy's orders. But that's different than a two-hour visit with the Twins."

[Varric]

"Why? The Twins part."

[Marian Hawke]

"They're... i'm... I don't want them to see this, this me that I am. It's hard to... to play pretend for that long, without Cindy to bolster me."

[Varric]

"Another part of Clan? You can ask anyone for help. Sure, they might not be able to give it, but its never an insult or imposition to ask. Doesn't have to be out loud either. You don't need to hurt yourself masking. If you're over here and you hit your limit, you can just ask to lay down. You can ask for a hug. You can ask to... curl up here in my office and read a book or just rock in the dark."

[Marian Hawke]

"But everyone's so... so worried all the time. I've worried them enough."

[Varric]

"Better we worry for a year or two and have you better off than have you hide and pull away forever."

[Marian Hawke]

"You did well enough without me," she says, and then freezes, not even breathing as she realizes what she's said.

[Varric]

"And I could make a life with one eye, no legs or a hand gone. Doesn't mean my life isn't better with all of that." Varric takes a deep breath, unsure if he wants to touch the shadow behind what Liz said. 

[Marian Hawke]

"I'm sorry," she whispers, ducking her head. This is why I need a Dom. I make bad decisions for myself.