Blood from Stone [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

She tightens her hands, lacing the fingers together in her lap. "Answers," she says quietly. "A plan. Something I can do to make this better."

[Carver Amell]

Carver scowls. "Why did you run? We could have helped you."

[Marian Hawke]

Liz has no answer for that, taking a deep breath instead. "I'm sorry I scared you," she says, in lieu of a response.

[Bethany]

Reaching across the table, Beth tries to take her sister's hand in hers. "Hey. We're not... okay, we are a bit mad that you ran off. You worried us. Gods, you must recall how worried you were when Carver and I got it in our heads to go berry picking by ourselves without a word. When we were eight or so? Just up and left when you got up to fetch something."

[Marian Hawke]

I'm not eight, she nearly snaps, but instead swallows her anger. "I was scared. Carver might never hit me, but I don't know about Captain Vallen," she says instead.

[Carver Amell]

Carver growls -- literally growls. "You should have trusted me to protect you. You can't just run away when someone yells at you!"

[Bethany]

"You were-" Bethany straightens up, eyes narrowing. "What did she say to make you- Carver, you didn't say it was getting- getting like that!"

[Varric]

Across the table, Varric's eyes narrow as he considers the interplay between the siblings. 

[Marian Hawke]

"It's not her fault," says Liz quickly. "She was right. I'm... I'm a danger to the family. But she was so angry, I, I panicked. So I ran. Went somewhere safe to think about how to, to not be such a weakness."

[Bethany]

Oh. That... that's... hrrm. I think I need to have a talk with the good Captain. She glances briefly at Carver. Maybe after Carver gets his talk in though. "And... how did that go? Mind you, I'm not acceding to your opinion that you're a weakness and such, just allowing that our opinions differ on the matter so we can focus on something else right now." Beth might not have the love of numbers or esoteric knowledge that her dad and sister have but she can be just as clever with words or logic as them.

[Marian Hawke]

"I... I don't know. I think... I might have a plan. But. I don't know how it's going to go, Beth. I don't know if I can pull it off. I might be... I might be too dangerous to be around. I hope not. But I might."

[Bethany]

"So could Carver. Or dad. Or Merrill or me. Temper, control, boundaries, pride... all of us have a flaw that could make us do terrible things, even to our loved ones. Yours is... self-doubt, I think." Beth squeezes Liz's hand tightly. "But let's hear the plan. Let us help, please? Even if only for our sakes."

[Marian Hawke]

"I..."

She glances at Varric, then swallows. "Jassinth said, um, I guess he said maybe the reason my nerves are so, why I can't seem to get past this plateau, is that I don't have... joy. Happiness, really. I figured, uh, I figured sex was enough joy to keep body and soul together, but he asked what I do that makes me happy and I don't... the answer is nothing. I do things because I feel like I have to, or to make Cindy happy, but the only thing that's really, that really makes me happy is sex. And Cindy left me. So now there's nothing. So he thinks... he thinks if my life had more happiness in it, more, it feels like selfishness, you know how I've never really been... it's just, I always had to-- it's not your fault or anything, but I was always taking care of you two first, myself last. So maybe, I guess he was suggesting I be a little more selfish." That last word is a scrape of a whisper, as she reddens a little just saying it, but she forces herself to press on.

"So, I spent the afternoon doing some math. And, but, then Aveline-- well, it doesn't matter what she said, but it scared me. But, I went to the temple, and Zevran was there, and he said much the same. Ciren teaches us we need comfort and joy and passion and I don't... have much of that anymore. So I spent a few hours with him, letting him... be good to me, I guess. And, hopefully, between math and, and sex, maybe I can... maybe I can heal a little more, maybe I'll have more energy to devote to healing. I don't... I'm so tired all the time anymore, Beth, I can't... But I have to. I can't just be this much of a weakness. I can't be that person she accused me of being. And she was right, Carver, she was, I did that. I didn't know it was real but it doesn't matter, I did it anyway. So I need to be better than I am. So... So."

[Varric]

Varric clears his throat as the twins stare, a bit shocked at the torrent of soft but relentless words poured out of Liz. "From the top? I think Jass has a good head on his shoulders and might well be right. Skipping a little- selfishness. Loving yourself, taking care of yourself? Not actually selfish. I mean... sure, if you always put yourself first, then it's being selfish. But carving out an hour every day, a day every couple of weeks to treat yourself? To do something just for you? That's just part of being healthy. I, uh... Beth, your turn."

[Bethany]

The young woman rolls her eyes but takes over. "I think he was trying to get to but couldn't bring himself to say was that it's good you got laid." Varric winces at her bluntness but nods a little. "Sex is great, even if the menfolk in our lives would prefer we never have any because of their own hang-ups." Dad's thing is a bit more than that but I don't want to single Carver out. Dad understands. "Try not to rub it in their faces but enjoy it safely. And tell me about it if you want." She winks at Liz, trying to keep things at least a bit light.