Blood from Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

"Yeah," he says, turning away. "But I'll cope." He reaches for the doorknob. 

[Varric]

"Stay for dinner. Please."

[Carver Amell]

"Why?" he asks, quietly. "I'm likely to start another fight."

[Varric]

"Because you're family, because you deserve to be there and because... because Beth follows my lead too easily. I wish you hadn't... jumped right to trying to have them committed at the table but you calling them on not promising to come home? At pushing back at me? Those are good things."

[Carver Amell]

He scoffs a little. "Good things. You never like it when people push back."

[Varric]

"So? I'm an stubborn, arrogant, control-obsessed genius. Of course I don't like it in the moment when people push back. Doesn't mean it's bad."

[Carver Amell]

"It's exhausting," he says softly. "I hate this. I hate fighting with you. I... I don't think I'd have drank if it weren't for you and I fighting. Run off, maybe, but it was... I was more upset about you than Liz."

[Varric]

Varric's fingers tighten slightly on the paper and he glances down at it briefly. "I... I regret doing that to you. I... Liz is damaged and needs help and attention. But that doesn't mean I should be careless with you. Or Beth for that matter." I just... (so damn much going on).

[Carver Amell]

"Careless," he repeats, his tone bitter. "It's not... I know rationally that you're not... that you really do care. But seeing you just barter with her like that was in any way acceptable... it makes me wonder. I'm trying to be okay with it, I'm trying to remind myself you're not really... but it sucks and it's a lot on top of Liz being Liz and my whole gender thing and..."

[Varric]

Looking away from the list of names, Varric makes eye contact for only a few seconds of Carver's response. Then his eyes dip again. "I... I know I don't express... emotion well. Especially in the moment or when I'm focused. But you can... ask. If that helps."

[Carver Amell]

He shrugs. "You said, already. You're scared, worried. But... It's just... I just have to figure out how to trust that. How to... I used to think it was strength, that you were always able to keep your cool. But sometimes I wonder if you're... I mean, you're such a good liar when you want to be. Is it Liz you're lying to, or me? How can I ever be sure? I have to figure that out for myself, I think. Or, I know the right answer, I just have to figure out how to believe it."

[Varric]

"I meant... ongoing. You can ask me to... explain how I'm feeling. Or even just to... emote more. I'll... try to do better." Varric shifts uncomfortably, letting his expression show more concern. "As for... as for knowing... Given how strong and well trained my mind is, even Truthings aren't a guarantee. So..." He sighs.

[Carver Amell]

"If it's her you're lying to, I can't ask you to... I get it. You need her to trust you. But even if I wanted to I could never... I just couldn't. Not even as a lie. Please, don't ask me to, don't let her ask me to."

[Varric]

Varric looks up at the ceiling for a moment. "Could... if you're set on not coming to dinner, then... I could... Would you promise to not try and get them committed against their will? Just that, nothing more."

[Carver Amell]

"No," he says quietly. "But... zi'Smith said that just having... suicidal thoughts isn't enough to have someone committed. They have to be a danger right now, to themselves, in the immediate future. Or to other people. So, I can't have her committed. Does that help?"