Blood from Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

Almost Carver agrees. Almost. But... this is Jass. He's your best friend. That's practically family. And family doesn't keep secrets from family. Remember? That's what almost got everyone killed last time.

"Jass.. I... I need to tell you something," he says, quietly.

[Jassinth]

"Of course," is the instant, confident reply of a young man. "You may tell me anything."

[Carver Amell]

Carver doesn't speak for a long moment, his mouth starting to work but stopping each time. Finally, his shoulders slump, and he hangs his head.

"I.. I don't think I can. I've never told anyone before. But.. I don't want to keep secrets from you or hide anything. If I... If I talk to my Dad tomorrow and, and figure out how to... promise you won't be upset? To find out I kept it from you?"

[Jassinth]

"You do not owe me your secrets, Carver," Jassinth says gently. "We are friends yes, and... I wish for perhaps more in addition, but that does not mean I have the right to demand you give me your life. I want to know more about you, yes, I wish to understand you better. To know more and more of you. But..." He licks his lips, thinking of his own recent pain, one he's not spoken of with anyone yet. "You- both of us- have... should be able to take the time we need to... share."

[Carver Amell]

"Secrets can kill," he says, his voice rough. "I didn't... I didn't tell you how Merrill got hurt. I should have. You're, you're important to me, and, Merrill got hurt because of secrets and lies. I can't condone hiding things from people who are important to me."

[Jassinth]

Jassinth is quiet a moment. "I think... I think there are... kinds of secrets. If... if for instance, I knew that someone might have some serious disease, then I am obligated to give them that information, even if there is some reason why it would be damaging or uncomfortable for me. But if... but if I had a secret that does not involve another person, then it is my right to decide when and how to share it."

[Carver Amell]

Carver is quiet for a moment. "It... it might, uh, be the kind of thing that makes a man feel... betrayed, to find out."

[Jassinth]

Betrayed? "Do..." Jass pauses, feeling his way around this. "Do you think... that I am such a man? Who would feel such?" he finally settles on.

[Carver Amell]

"I don't know," he whispers. "I hope not. I... I really like you, Jass. But... I've never told anyone. Not since it happened."

[Jassinth]

"Did you hurt someone?"

[Carver Amell]

"Not... not like you mean."

[Jassinth]

Not like the obvious manner one would hurt another... And it involves Dau, who... "You were... healed once? A long time ago? And... that hurt someone in some fashion?"

[Carver Amell]

"No. No, I.... Let's... Let's talk about something else," he practically begs. "I don't... There's whole sides of me you don't.. I want you to keep thinking of me as..."

[Jassinth]

"As you like," Jassinth accedes. "But I think you are fearing for naught, my friend. From the sound of things, this happened when you were but a child. I cannot fathom a thing that would make me dislike you that you could have done then. Regardless, a new topic. Have you any idea why your friend, ah, Mickel I think it was? would be upset with Ari? He was... polite in word and tone, but his body language, if it follows that of a great cat's anyway, was less than welcoming."

[Carver Amell]

"Oh, that," says Carver with a relieved groan. "Come, sit with me, let me teach you the ways of Cat-cats."


The next morning, after the two have stayed up way too late talking and laughing, after they've had a late breakfast, Carver suggests Jass take the Mabari out for their morning walk while he does his practice. Instead of doing drills in the yard, however, he heads for Varric's study, letting some of his anxiety show on his face as he knocks. 

"Busy?"