Blood from Stone [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

"C-cindy?" whimpers Liz, turning to look at her. "Cindy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't, I won't do it again, I won't, I'm sorry,"

[Varric]

Varric's eyes widen a bit and he moves closer so he can reach over Liz to rest a hand on Cindy's elbow. "Hey, you alright?" he asks carefully.

[Coquette Blacquin]

"A... a kn-knife. I had a kn-knife. I-- what was I doing? This... this didn't happen. It never happened. I never-- I never once-- but why... why can I remember..."

[Varric]

"Cindy, deep breath. Don't fight the memory. Don't reach for it, don't pull from it. Just let it flow to the top of your mind. Describe the knife," Varric says in an almost sing-song voice.

[Coquette Blacquin]

"Smooth," she says, and her tone is flat, emotionless. "It was perfectly smooth, no marks or identifying signals of any kind. Weighted exactly to my hand. The grip was the same as my beloved's, exactly right for my hand, balanced for stabbing not throwing. It was flat, scarcely larger than whalebone, but wicked sharp. I had a leather sheath. A last-ditch weapon, nearly untraceable. Long enough to reach my heart, but not much longer. I didn't stab myself with it, I used it on--- on---"

She cuts off, abruptly, then blinks, shaking her head. "What was I just...?"

[Varric]

"...nothing important for right now," Varric says slowly. "But we'll talk about it, probably with Helene and Wynne, later. I think you might have a mostly hidden memory. Magically. Leave it be for now."

[Marian Hawke]

Liz, meanwhile, is staring at Cindy with huge, frightened eyes. She doesn't contradict what Varric is saying, she just keeps... Merrilling her girlfriend.

[Coquette Blacquin]

"Alright," Cindy replies quietly. "Alright."

[Varric]

"Don't think your girl's little... reveal there is going to help you skip out of your own issues, student mine," Varric says firmly, tapping her on the head with one finger.

[Marian Hawke]

Liz flinches, dropping her gaze to her lap, pulling back from where she was about to put her arm around Cindy. "Yessir," she says, quietly.

[Varric]

"Doesn't mean you can't hug her," he says gruffly, rolling his eyes. "You could both use it."

[Marian Hawke]

"Yes, sir," she says again, still quietly, but slower. She reaches to snake an arm around Cindy, who turns to hug her tightly, petting her hair.

"She's overwrought," Cindy says quietly. "She-- No. Liz, you tell him."

"I..." she begins, eyes wide. "I... I can't. I just, I just want to be good. Please, I don't want to fight anymore, I want to be good."

[Varric]

"You're overwhelmed and want someone, someone you trust, to tell you what to do so you don't have to decide. To risk being wrong and... getting someone hurt," Varric supplies, mostly keeping the sorrow out of his voice.

[Marian Hawke]

"Is that... wrong?" asks Liz, carefully, slowly.

[Varric]

Varric is quiet a moment, his expression one that Liz would recognize as one of serious consideration, the sort she had only rarely made him adopt back in... before. "As a choice, no. If you were choosing to live that way, if you had the right people to trust to guide you, if you were capable of making choices for yourself, on your own, when you needed or wanted to... then no. But if you have to submit? Yes. Not the worst thing, but not good either." He smiles faintly. "If you can't say no, then you aren't able to say yes." That had the ring of a quote to it.