Blood from Stone [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

Liz's lungs finally rebel against her frozen mind, forcing her to breathe, though she does so too fast, too shallow. She closes her eyes, trying to force herself to take deeper breaths, not to hold Vig so tight. Being in her body, tending to its needs, helps, insomuch as it stops the trapped panicky red feeling from taking over her mind.

[Vigile]

Vigile, taking his cue from observations of Cindy assisting Liz, reaches out with one paw and gently rakes his claws across her arm. He keeps it shallow, just barely breaking the skin, just enough to drive her mind from emotion to flesh.

[Varric]

"Why not try? If you're going to toss your life here away, then why not tr-" Varric's head snaps around at the commotion behind him.

[Marian Hawke]

Liz flinches when her mentor says 'throw your life away', but still says nothing. She takes a half step back, shaking her head, trying to stay quiet, unobtrusive. Trying to deal with it herself, with Vig's help, instead of taking even a bit of attention away from Cindy. Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel the pain in your arm. The cold on your skin. The ground under your feet.

[Coquette Blacquin]

"I have tried," says Cedric, voice low, pained. "Opening up, just a little, was more painful than not."

[Varric]

"...perhaps because it contrasted all the rest left unsaid? Have you... have you stepped back and reevaluated the good and bad of telling your family about... this?" The dwarf waves a hand around them to indicate the hideout and what it represents. "Things have changed, a lot, since you first made that call. Maybe it's changed enough for a different answer?"

[Coquette Blacquin]

"This," he says, gesturing around the room. "Was a bad idea. If I had never done all this, maybe I could have been happy. But I can't, now. I... I'm spent. Gods, I was spent years ago. I thought I'd be able to retire when I married, but I didn't marry. And I couldn't get another suitor. And I just kept getting worse, and then... it's time and past I stopped. But I've lost the rest of my life, the life that I was meant to retire into. I have nothing."

[Varric]

"If... If you want to retire from adventuring, then... why do you have to give up your family? And I'll be the last to tell you not to retire. Being a hero is noble and good, sure, but Bright gods, it weathers your soul and cracks your heart." His hand half rises to his chest, to the smooth circle of pale skin no bigger than a copper piece, but he checks himself before completing the motion.

[Vigile]

"That's it, milady. Slow breathes. Very good." The feline paladin continues to cuddle and purr, slipping in murmurs of encouragement and praise every so often.

[Coquette Blacquin]

"I can't," she whispers. "I had to burn the part of me that I had set aside for retirement."

[Varric]

"Then... then you grow another part that can do it. People can heal from the damndest things. If they have help. Which, to be clear, you have. I get that you don't like me. I wish we could get past that. But that's not important right now. Right now, you need to find someone you can trust and talk to."

[Coquette Blacquin]

"Like my mother?" He snaps. "No. Never again. I'm through."

[Varric]

"Yes, like your mother!" Varric pauses. "What do you mean by 'again?"

[Coquette Blacquin]

"It's bad enough I told Kyle. Bad enough I failed her twice. No. I'm not ruining anyone else's family. Especially not Liz's. Take care of her. Take care of the twins, too. But stay away from me. I'm bad news."

[Varric]

"Kyle knows." Varric stares a long, long moment. "What in the darkest pits of the earth are- why didn't you talk to him about all this? You trust him, he's your father and he knows your secret so... why not talk to him?"