Blood from Stone [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"Weak, not a monster." Zevran slowly reaches out to take Liz's hands in his own, giving her plenty of time to shy away. "That might damn you to Vangal perhaps, but Ciren is not so... demanding."

[Marian Hawke]

"Maybe he should be," she snaps, then takes a deep breath. "I... I'm sorry. I'm not... I should go."

[Tethras Clan]

"Please do not. I am unoffended by your temper. It is, frankly, a good sign. Temper is a form of passion as well, after all." He studies her a moment, then clears his throat. "But it occurs to me to ask- you say you 'thought to save' but not 'did save' so..."

[Marian Hawke]

She looks down. "I... I am probably... I am likely safe. But I don't, I don't deserve to be."

[Tethras Clan]

"... and is everyone else?" Zevan prompts her.

[Marian Hawke]

She gives a single, curt nod.

[Tethras Clan]

"Sorry. Just one of those things that seems to require following up on." He squeezes their hands lightly. "As for deserving to keep your soul... I was a slave for more than half a decade. I tried very hard to be a good person. A kind person, a... nice person, as bland as that might sound. I could honestly not tell you the number of times I allowed punishments to fall on another for my sake. The number of times I sneak extra food for myself and did not share, helped myself to a blanket or handful of straw to ease my life at the expense of another. It is... something to be ashamed of doing. I will not deny that. But that does not mean it is unforgivable." 

[Marian Hawke]

"Regardless, I cannot stay as I am. I am a danger. And yet, I cannot... I don't have it in me to heal. They say I need happiness, joy, but... how can I seek it without feeling selfish beyond reason?"

[Tethras Clan]

"Do it for them. I have spoken with many of your family. I count Beth as a dear friend in fact. They want you to be happy and find some joy in your life to give you reason and light." The merikos drow, cloaked in illusion, shifts his weight slightly. "It could be said not doing so is the more selfish act in your situation."

[Marian Hawke]

"I... I don't think Math is going to cut it," she whispers, sounding small and afraid. "I want to forget, for a while. To pretend I am... whole. Sex can do that, I know it can. But Cindy left me."

[Tethras Clan]

"Sex can be a passion and joy... clearly."He offers a ghost of his normal charming and playful grin, winking. "But it can become an obsession, a crutch. Still..." Lifting one hand from their conjoined grasps, he cups her chin. "An afternoon of delight is of no harm, I would think. What happened with... Cindy?"

[Marian Hawke]

"She left me," she says quietly. "Said she couldn't watch me die."

[Tethras Clan]

"It can be..." Zevran laughs softly, the sound more air than mirth. "It is a shared death, to watch a loved one wither." His thumb begins to slowly stroke the side of her face where he holds her. "If I can be of help, can help you heal, please... tell me and I shall do as I can."

[Marian Hawke]

"Teach me," she begs. "I don't know how to be more than this. I don't know how to find the strength. They said I need to find joy, but I don't know how. Cindy was always my joy."

[Tethras Clan]

"That is... I can..." A sigh slips from his lips, then he nods. "I will show you what joy can be had from sharing the intimacy of flesh. But you must offer me a promise in return- that you will not hide in that joy. That it will be a shelter, not a retreat."