Blood from Stone [AU]

[Bethany]

Beth scoffs, loudly. "Oh gods. Are we sure you and Carver aren't the twins? She is our mother. She should be taking care of us. But she didn't. She picked herself, over and over again. So don't feel guilty. You did so much more than you should ever have been asked to do." Reaching over, she takes Liz's hand. "No, she isn't our mother. Not really. You were our mother more than she ever was."

[Marian Hawke]

Liz bows her head, taking a deep breath. "You're... you're right," she says quietly. "But Beth... I was your mother by age twelve. I was never.. I don't know how to be a person. How to be single and... I know how to be a single mom and how to be broken and how to be a girlfriend but I've never, I've never known how to be Marian Tethras."

And... she doesn't flinch at the name.

[Bethany]

"Then that sounds like a good place to start. Don't try to be our sister or dad's apprentice. Be happy. Be healthy and whole. And... and then we can see where you are from there." Beth gives her hand a squeeze.

[Marian Hawke]

"And... you won't... miss me as a... as a mother figure?" she asks, quietly. "You won't be... disappointed?"

[Bethany]

"No. I love you Liz. I will always love you. And be grateful for taking care of me. But that's not your duty anymore. It never should have been. I have Dad now, and Tuiste. And I guess Malcolm. Plus Seli, if I need girly type advice."

[Marian Hawke]

Liz nods, taking a deep breath. "Okay. I.... Okay."

[Varric]

"So... Five months of you trying your best to find yourself, find joy, find a place and purpose. You'll try your best to do all of that, listening to advice and suggestions, but not required to take it. You'll stay in contact with us during that, but not on a strict schedule or anything. You'll give talking to expert mnd healers a try. You'll be honest with how you're doing. In exchange, we won't try to trap you, in an institution or otherwise." Varric has to take a sip of his wine before he can continue, and not because he had spoken too long. "And in five months, if you... if you're not satisfied with your progress, we let you walk away."

[Marian Hawke]

She takes a deep breath, letting it out. "Yes. I can... I can agree to that."

[Bethany]

Beth fidgets a little, then sighs. "Alright. I... I don't like... that you're... it hurts, that you're..." She swallows back her words, tries to bury the thought of 'asking me to hear that scream again.' Great Hunt, Marian... How can you being so selfless feel like you're being so damn selfish? "I don't like you leaving. I guess this is the balance of making Carver stand by and watch me wh- heal whores." She winces, looking away from her Dad.

[Marian Hawke]

Liz bows her head. "I... did Carver tell you what I did?" she asks, softly.

[Bethany]

"Umm... maybe? Depends on what... you mean by that?"

[Marian Hawke]

"When I..."

Her eyes fixed firmly on her untouched potatoes, she takes a deep breath. "When I was... sleeping.. I was tempted by a... a sceleratis of some kind. I thought... I thought it was a lucid dream, but, it doesn't matter, because I was... I was aware, I wasn't dreaming. And it said... it said if I didn't trade it my soul, I would never wake up. So I... I tried to bargain," she whispers. "I tried to offer it Vigile, instead of myself. I would probably have gone on to offer Helene, if I... it made it clear that I don't own Vigile so I can't trade him. It would have to be mine. So I, I was on the verge of accepting when I was woken."

[Bethany]

Bethany sucks in a breath, eyes wide. But... animals don't have souls? Which makes that better, I suppose- and Vigile must be Cindy's familiar then. But... Helene. Why would... Gods. Because fear. If someone attacked, right now... I would run, or hide, and hope the rest of you protect me. That's... not so very different. Souls are more than lives, yes, but... "I see. And... and how do you... what did that... Sorry. That was what you thought and did then. What are you doing now about it? What has it made you think?" The shift, from when she goes from 'Beth' to 'Healer zi'Tethras,' is nearly visible it's so clear.

[Tethras Clan]

Merrill is quiet, her face pale and her hands twisting in her lap. She shivers, then thrusts a hand out at Varric, who gives her a vial to drink without comment. I... I can understand why Carver tried what he did. If she could make that sort of choice... She is a danger to herself. If sceleratis are involved, she... As the tonic kicks in, she frowns slightly. She needs to face that phobia, just the same as her phobia about medical places. But how do you reduce fear of sceleratis? Illusions maybe? Or perhaps... hmmm. Nox and Lux? It's very hard to be afraid of Lux when he's in full flirt mode. Maybe have Seli there, as a priestess? Or Aveline, maybe.

[Marian Hawke]

Liz shakes her head. "I won't run away from this. I can't. I know I'm... despicable, for doing that. So I have to get better. I can't... I'm so tired, all the time. I just want to rest. I just want someone to tell me what to do. But I can't, because that person, that pet who only obeys orders, doesn't know how to stand up to something like that, doesn't know how to be brave. So I... I need to learn how to be brave. And, we were just talking the other day about how I can't... I can't be brave if I'm empty inside, if there's nothing left of me to fall back on. So I have to start with building myself up. Being someone again, not just what I think everyone else needs me to be. I can... there have been times when something, uh, triggered me, and I was Garrett at the time and Garrett doesn't have panic attacks so I had to hide it and keep pushing through, keep fighting. But I don't... I don't seem to remember how when I don't have Cedric to show me. So..."

She takes a deep breath, then adds, "So, I think... Sometimes... if you could call me Marian... I would... I would appreciate it."