The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Carver Amell]

"Yeah," she whispers. "And you're not, you're not any of that."

[Merrill]

Another jerky nod as the elf tries to control herself. Have to finish this. Have to help her. Focus! "W-what are y-you? What d-do you w-w-want to be?"

[Carver Amell]

"Dead," she says, flatly. "There's nothing else I can be. There's nothing better for me."

Is that true? Really? a little voice she thought she'd long strangled asks her. 

[Merrill]

"W-what ab-bout being d-dead?"

[Carver Amell]

"What? I mean, I tried but..." 

[Merrill]

Huh? Oh! "S-sssorry! I meant- I m-mean- what about b-being d-d-dead is... good? Wh-why d-do you w-want... it?"

[Carver Amell]

"I... I want to..."

She makes a face. "This is dumb," she warns. "But... If I could just .. vanish, without being dead... Just, people not to look at me. To expect from me, to... If I could only be with Hunter, or... Just, not having family or expectations or... Or being me."

[Merrill]

"That doesn't s-sound dumb," Merrill whispers. "I wished I wasn't m-me a lot." She swallows. "M-maybe you c-could... have a r-rebirth?"

[Carver Amell]

"I would still... They would still want things from me. Things I'm not."

[Merrill]

"Like wh-what?" Merrill asks gently.

[Carver Amell]

"i... I... Beth looks at me and... I'm not what she wants. I know I'm not. I hurt myself, sometimes. I..."

[Merrill]

Merril just nods. "B-but wh-what do y-you w-want?"

[Carver Amell]

"I... When I was... When I was real little I... I wanted to grow up to be..."

Sue can't finish it. Her eyes flood with tears.

[Merrill]

Biting her lip, Merrill does the bravest thing she's done in seasons. She reaches out and gently takes Carol's hand in hers.

[Carver Amell]

Carol bursts into tears, whispering in Elven, "a boy. I wanted to be a boy."