The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Varric]

Well, that was... interesting. ''Ever read much on the study of abuse victims? Their mindset, their reactions to discovery or confrontation about said abuse?''

[Marian Hawke]

"No," she admits. "But aren't you one too, if your story's true?"

[Varric]

''Sure, but there's a big difference between less than a fortnight and a combined span of a fucking decade,'' he counters. ''It takes time to break someone day, to make them accept what should be intolerable behavior.''

[Marian Hawke]

"Nobody would accept torture and rape," she says firmly. "No matter what you do to them."

[Haliel Lightsong]

Swallowing despite sudden tightness in her throat, Lightsong shakes her head. "It does happen. I've... I've helped work with abuse victims before. It can take years- decades even- to get them to accept help. They... They have... There are a lot of reasons why. It hurts to see. It's wrong. It's terrible and it hurts to see. One of my teachers says it's the worst effect of abuse. Magic and time can heal practically any injury to the body. The mind, the soul..."

[Marian Hawke]

"But.." 

Marian frowns, looking between them. "But Helene is fine. A little eccentric, but... I just don't understand where all this talk of being dream-taken or abused or what comes from. She's fine. She's driven and focused and so smart it hurts, and serious to the point of forgetting how to have fun, but she's friendly and outgoing and polite, she's... She's amazing. There's nothing wrong with her. Delusions about what?! I don't understand."

[Varric]

"That matches my experience fairly well. From what I saw, they were hitting her for some petty bullshit. Being shy, fidgeting, not using the right greeting- according to them of course- and being really passionate about their work. Got her talking about ancient kender tribes and she not only relaxed but smiled. Only real smile I saw from her the entire week. Seeker's fine. Very, very Alydrain but.. well, Seeker." Varric shrugs with one shoulder as he leans against the door frame. "It was like.. like using the quick and dirty style of dinosaur training at a finishing school."

[Marian Hawke]

"But why? What was the delusion?" pushes Marian.

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one is unwell."

The voice is soft, timid, but present, behind Varric. Helene bows her head, hands clasped, quiet as a church mouse. 

"This one persists in believing that this one's form is not what it ought to be. This one knows, and yet, still keeps believing the lies. This one finds it easier to cope with the truth after this one has been retrained."

[Varric]

Varric tenses, annoyed with himself, and forces himself to casually step into the room so his back isn't to anyone. ''Form is not what it ought to be? What should it be instead?''

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene hesitates, looking down, fidgeting. Finally, she says softly, "Nothing. There is no such form. This one is as this one was made to be. That is all."

[Haliel Lightsong]

''Wanting to be different than you are, wishing you could be someone-thing else... that isn't a delusion.'' Lightsong glances to the side, embarrassed by the slip.

[Varric]

Varric snorts. ''Besides... so the fuck what? Who cares if you think you should have been born... whatever, a donkey or a fish or whatever it is that you don't want to say out loud. As long as you aren't hurting anybody, then so the fuck what?''

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one is... This one is favored," says Helene quietly. "This one's writings are widely read, and this one is a role model in the community. In truth, this one could forgo treatment, but this one fears becoming incoherent, fears developing hallucinations as symptoms worsen. This one will serve Alydra. This one must serve. And so, this one seeks to keep this one's self in optimal condition."

[Haliel Lightsong]

''That is... admirable,'' Lightsong says slowly, almost cautiously. ''But... I mean, how can you be sure? That you need to... be hurt? Have you ever tried anything else to... treat your condition?''