The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Carver Amell]

"Nothing," she whispers. "I didn't sleep. I couldn't... I kept thinking about... I thought a bath might.... And then the knife was... And I just ... I needed to. That's all."

[Bethany]

"Thinking about what? Why did you need to relax?" Her eyes narrow as she recalls some of the things in the three slim volumes Zevran smuggled to her. The ones about taking care of traumatized people. Of victims. "...or was it you needed to be clean?" Dead. He's dead. I don't care about what comes after. He's dead.

[Carver Amell]

"No, I-- I mean I-- I did but-- I just-- I kept thinking-- it gets worse," she whispers, shuddering. "If I don't bleed some of it off the compulsions get worse. I tried, I really did, but..."

[Bethany]

"What compulsion? Car, please. Please let me in. Please trust me," she begs in a whispers, sinking to her knees in the swiftly melting frost. "You're the most important thing in my life. Please. P-Please l-let me in."

[Carver Amell]

"I.. you won't-- you deserve better than this, Beth," she whispers. "You're the good twin. The healthy one. You don't need any part of this... this thing inside me."

[Bethany]

Good twin. Right. Sure. By some definitions. "None of that matters. You're my twin. Good, bad, right, wrong... none of that is as important as you. La'ma'win. So-so... please? Please don't... please don't abandon me too?"

[Carver Amell]

"I can't," she whispers. "Sometimes it feels like I died a long time ago, like I'm just a ghost." 

[Bethany]

Her heart breaks, stops and freezes all at once and Beth presses her face against her twins's temple. "Please no. I couldn't... I couldn't... stand this. Live. Without you. I just... please don't leave me." I love Zevran,  do, and Shan is great but... but they're not enough. A few hours once or twice a season with Shan, a few nights a week with Zevran, whispered conversations with empty rooms that whisper back... they aren't enough. Not without my twin.

[Carver Amell]

"I'm trying," she whispers back. "You're all I have to live for, Beth. I don't want to hurt you. But it's hard. I can't... It's hard to live your life so that someone else doesn't have to be alone."

She takes a deep, shuddering breath. "I need my potion," she says, voice dull. 

[Bethany]

Beth licks her lips, trying to find the words. "Is... is that all... What about, umm, Hunter? Or- or your dancing? I know you still have lessons. You're so wonderful at it. Do you... not still enjoy it?" The energy, the rhythms and movement... you always seemed the most at peace while dancing.

[Carver Amell]

"No," she says flatly, and that note of bleak despair creeps back in. 

[Bethany]

"Oh. I... when did... when did that... change?"

[Carver Amell]

"I... I don't... it's just... Mother..."

[Bethany]

Bitch does too, yeah, on it. "What about her?"

[Carver Amell]

"I don't know. It's not really Mother, it's... I'm not... graceful. Elegant. Like the other girls."