The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Varric]

"Sure, sure." He replies agreeably, nodding. "She's only your little sister. The little sister you were separated from as a child, the one you rushed back to at the first opportunity, the one you entered the dragon's lair for, the one you came back to help even after being caught and sold to slavers. Yeah, nothing to do with you at all."

[Marian Hawke]

"She's not my sister," she says, voice a bit harsh. (Our father. We're full sisters) one forty-eight five seventy six. (Sold to Slavers) two ninety-seven one fifty-two

[Varric]

"Marian... Please. If you're going to try and lie to me, at least try something I don't have a mineful of evidence disproving."

[Marian Hawke]

"She's not. We share blood, but a bastard can't be a real sister to a trueborn daughter. I know my place." Sixteen seven seven seven.... Seven seven seven... It was six oh... Four? So Two oh eight..? No, that's not-- (not her first attempt)

[Varric]

"Fuck that. She's your sister. She can decide if you're her sister but no-one else can. Your place. Bullshit, " he sneers.

[Marian Hawke]

"Maybe for you. I can't-- it doesn't matter. This doesn't matter. Believe what you want. We just have to help Carol." Eight. Sixteen. Thirty-two. Sixty-four.

[Varric]

"This is about saving her! Right or wrong, delusion or drama, she thinks Beth betrayed her. Jadan is a monster. All she has right now is a dog, magic or not. She needs her big sister. She needs you. Badly." 

[Marian Hawke]

"Then tell me what to do." Her face remains empty, distant, her tone even. "Tell me how to help."

[Varric]

"Stop hiding. Let yourself feel. Take a chance and reach out to them." Shiny included, if only so she stops sighing sadly and staring at you.

[Marian Hawke]

My feelings aren't helpful, she almost protests, but... She asked how to help.

This is, apparently, how.

Her facade dissolves; she buries her face in her hands, letting out a low sob. "I can't-- I always hoped they were happy, at least. But Beth was raped and I wasn't even there. I thought I could protect them but I can't."

[Varric]

Well bucko, you asked for this, Varric thinks to himself wryly.Taking a careful breath, he sips- fuck it- gulps his whiskey and sets it down on the desk. "I can't say I know how this must feel. I have a brother but... we aren't close. And he's never gone through a tenth of what your sisters have. But I get not being able to save or protect someone... someone you care for. A lot."

[Marian Hawke]

"I tried to help Beth," she whispers. "I tried to teach her how to-- how to be someone like me, how to keep her head up and keep moving and never think about it. But she can't. She's not... Regular people can't just put things aside and keep going. Regular people break down."

[Varric]

"It does take a... sort of steel, to carry burdens and pain for long. Most people can put it aside for a while. Hours, days, even weeks. But it'll hit eventually, and once it does, it doesn't go away again easy." Varric shrugs a little. "Nothing wrong with people that can or people that can't, at least in my book. More important is how you deal with your shit once you can."

[Marian Hawke]

"I just don't. Ever. Keep my head up, keep moving, don't think about it." She shakes her head. "Beth said.... she said that's what Carol does. What made her the way she is. I don't think so, I think-- I think Carol and Mother are different than me. But I can't spend too long thinking about it."

[Varric]

"Sounds pretty similar to me. Just... you haven't stopped moving. Like with Beth. She was fine, until she got to us and she could fall apart. It's like how arches work. As long as they stay under pressure, they hold, even with a crack. Once the weight shifts, once the pressure is gone or even lessened... things start to slide out of place and..." He makes a shattering noise.